(R)uffda!

Ask (R)uffda! (continued)

2012-02-06T10:53:00.000-08:00

I won't post the entire thread. Even I can only take so much of this (R)uffda! crap. But just a little more ...

Wolfgang 11/4/2003 12:39pm

Ruffda, I want to know:

Who was Jack the Ripper?
Is it true the only difference between Bobby Knight and Dean Smith is the use of expletives?
Did the NBA rig the lottery system back in 1984 to let the New York Knicks get the #1 pick for the rights to Patrick Ewing?
Is Kobe innocent or guilty?
Was Clay Aiken really better than Reuben Studdard?
Who has the worst SID in college volleyball?
Did Florence Griffith-Joyner use steroids to win Gold medals?
Which current college volleyball team violated numerous NCAA recruiting rules?
Is Sarah Pavan really the next big thing?
Was the Roy Jones boxing debacle in the 1988 Olympics the biggest forgotten controversy?

(R)uffda! 1:26pm

The Smuckers goons are going to kill me for answering so many questions in one post. (Or, as they like to say, "jam me up good." God, they are morons.) But I'm going to do it anyhow.

Jack was Mary and Doug Ripper's kid. He was misunderstood. I think it all started with that whole disemboweling episode, but there was also something about a late library book.

A careful examination of the DNA of Bobby Knight and Dean Smith will show they are remarkably similar. Even odder than that is their resemblance to Moms Mabley. Go figure.

The NBA lottery is always rigged, so there was no exception with Patrick Ewing. Note Cleveland and Lebron James. Golden State, however, is still wondering what they did to end up with Joe Smith.

Is Kobe innocent or guilty of what? I am good, very good, but I am not God. I just wish there were a way to send Shaq to prison instead.

Again, was Clay better than Reuben at what? I'm afraid we're comparing apples to oranges, and geeky oranges to chubby apples at that. Would I have voted for either? No. I was a Kimberly guy.

The worst SID in college volleyball? That would be FAMU's. Take a look at their website for why I say that.

Flo-Jo was undoubtedly on some sort of steroid. But then name me a track star who isn't. If this is a trick question to get me sued by her estate, shame on you and can I hire you?

They all violate NCAA recruiting rules. Except most don't.

Sarah Pavan will be the next big thing if she commits to Minnesota. If she commits to Nebraska, she will be the next thing from Kitchener.

(Only joking! We LOVE Sarah Pavan!)

Who the hell is Roy Jones?

Next? (puff puff)

Wolfgang 12:52pm

Is St. Paul the evil ugly twin of Minneapolis?

(R)uffda! 1:28pm

No. St. Paul is considered a smaller Minneapolis with a very, very odd smell.

St. Paul is far from ugly. Well, the actual Saint was no looker, but saints don't need to be. That's like putting wings on rhinos.

tnp101 12:30pm

Where is the name (R)uffda! originated from? Why an R in the bracket?

(R)uffda! 12:59pm

Aho!

(R)uffda! is for ROOF, a common block term. As in "She sure did roof that snucker."

SNUCKER, on the other hand, is less common.

Uffda!, of course, is the Scandinavian term for "Good Golly! That sure was somethin', eh?"

Put them together and you have a Minnesota VB moniker (Minnesota being overrun with Scandies).

Clever, eh?

Oh. I almost forgot. Those brackets are actually parentheses, and are just there to show how clever it all is.

Blasting Away the Past -- Ask (R)uffda!

2012-02-04T12:25:00.001-08:00

Because VBCOACH was kind enough to hang on to this and send me a copy, I'm re-running a VT thread, in several installments, from November of 2003:

(R)uffda! on Nov 4th, 2003, 10:31am

In an attempt to get 1,000 posts in record time, I am starting an advice column.

Or an information column.

Fire away. I'm at your service.

Sandvb on Nov 4th 10:39am

Since we're both posting at work: Is my job in danger trying to help you get to 1000 posts?

(R)uffda! 10:41am

Your job is absolutely not in danger from posting at work. Your job is in danger because of that open bottle of whiskey behind the fax machine.

Next?

(R)uffda! 10:40am

Bob, from Indiana, wants to know why chickens lay eggs.

Well, Bob, they tried laying toasters, but it was way too painful.

Next?

JT 11:06am

Aren't open bottles of whiskey fire hazards?

(R)uffda! 11:20am

This is a common misperception. Open bottles of whiskey are no more hazardous than oild-soaked newspapers or gas leaks.

However, as a precaution, please consider keeping your blowtorches and your liquor supply in different rooms.

Next?

Gorf 11:31am

What team will win the Women's D1 Volleyball championship this year?

(R)uffda! 11:36am

The smartass response would be the team that wins 3 games wins the final, but that's the sort of response you would give.

USC will be upset by the winner of the Hawaii-Florida match.

Or USC will win it all.

Next?

RayB14 11:40am

(R)uffda,

Could you please be a little more specific about the winner of this year's women's D1 volleyball championship ...

Which team will be holding up the national championship trophy?

(Oh, yeah, and I need some advice too .. should I buy the black one or the red one?)

(R)uffda! 11:48am

OK. More specific. USC.

Unless they lose to Hawaii or Florida.

I would go with the red dress. It matches those pumps you just bought.

Next?

BonJoeV 11:42am

(R)uffda!,

What are your qualifications to take on such a lofty enterprise?

Enquiring minds want to know? ;)

(R)uffda! 11:55am

I'm not sure I like your tone, young man, but I'll give you the doubt of the benefit.

I spent 10 years with the Tibetan monks of ... well, Tibet. I found inner peace and some really cool rocks.

I have played co-rec volleyball at the St. Paul YMCA and will be playing in a men's league starting this Wednesday. So I know which side of the VB the valve is on, if you know what I mean.

I graduated cum laude from a local college of high academic standing. I would have graduated summa cum laude, but I thought it was something else.

I can tell you how thick a spine needs to be on a 336pp perfect bound book using 50# offset.

But, above all else, I am an empathetic (as opposed to pathetic) guy who cares about my fellow human beings. I will not, I could not, steer you wrong.

Unless, of course, you get on my bad side.

Next?

(R)uffda! 11:45am

Barefoot in Kailua writes:

"Dear (R)uffda!

As you may or may not know, I was a huge supporter of the invasion of Iraq, convinced by my president that there were not only WMD, but that Saddam was about to use them.

Turns out, my president was either lying or incredibly stupid. My question is, how do I admit to all my VT buddies that I was not only wrong, but that I was probably duped by the dumbest man alive?

Sincerely, BIK"

Well, BIK, these things happen -- and actually happen quite often to Republicans.

My advice to you is to go down to the beach, soak those bare feet in the waters of the Pacific, and ask your own personal deity, whoever that is, for forgiveness.

You can be damned sure your "buddies" at VT will never forgive you.

Beyond that, a $1000 check to the Democratic Party would probably be in order. And remember: those who keep making the same mistakes over and over join the GOP.

Next?

Gorf 11:57am

Why does life in the fast lane seem to be going so slow today?

(R)uffda! 12:12pm

Ask (R)uffda! is now sponsored by Smuckers Jams. Buy them. Buy lots!

Because the guy in the BMW who forced you to the right lane 10 miles back just hit a moose.

But what I'm really hearing here, Gorf, is a man in pain. And I'm not talking about the guy in the BMW with the moose antlers sticking through his torso. I'm talking about you!

Have you ever thought that maybe the fast lane is just not where you and your '73 Dodge Duster should be? Have you ever thought about heading down to the beach and joining BiK in a good soak in the ocean? Granted, it's a little tougher for you being in Minnesota and all, but there are alternatives. Your bathtub, for instance. I'm sure BiK would like that even more than the calming waters of the Pacific.

My point is this: You need to simplify your life. Toss out all those DVDs and Toys o' Perversion and embrace your Inner Gorf!

Gorf 12:23pm

Will you actually reach 1000 posts before being deleted again?

Will you actually reach 1000 posts, will you do so before IB reaches the 4000 post level?

FWIW: Dodge made the Demon (part of the Dart body line) while Plymouth made the Duster. Plymouth no longer produces cars.

(R)uffda! 12:38pm

You are correct. It was a Dodge Dart. I was just testing you. But, aside from that, it was a metaphor. Let it go, Gorf. Let it go. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Continue breathing until I tell you to stop. (Don't want there to be any confusion on that point.)

1000 posts was also a metaphor. 1000 to one person is 3 to another, less intelligent, person.

I will be deleted when I am deleted. Words to live your life by.

I am not concerned with other people's post size. I am comfortable with my own. Also words to live by. Maybe even better than that "deleted" BS above.

Next?

Serendipity 12:26pm

What's so great about Minnesota? And are there really 10,000 lakes there?

(R)uffda! 12:44pm

There are, in fact, more than 10,000 lakes here, not including ponds and that puddle over on Snelling. If you want the exact number, you will need to Ask (R)uffda! (The Smuckers people are paying close attention to the numbers here.)

What's so great about Minnesota? Well, it starts with these lakes, ground out of the fertile soil by advancing and retreating glaciers many, many years ago. You have not lived until you have sat by one of those natural wonders on a warm summer evening, with the mosquitoes sucking every last drop of blood from your veins, and the loons chuckling out in the water somewhere.

Talk about your natural high!

I could go on and on, but there are many more questions to answer, so let's just say it's the lakes.

One

2011-12-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

So after all that we end up with a repeat champion, albeit one that hasn't won since the 90s. It didn't seem like that would be the culmination of this odd year, but then it didn't seem like Newt Gingrich would be the least laughable GOP candidate either. So there you go.

I like the Bruins, I guess. Some interesting players. Some great faces. Illinois grew on me, too. But I wasn't really pulling for either team. I just wanted it to go five.

So I was disappointed by game four.

It's all over and Kim Jung Illinois has taken it the hardest. Yes, I know that's not particularly funny and I've now posted it in three separate locations, but times are tough. Jokes, no matter how weak, must be stretched out a bit.

Congratulations to UCLA -- and to Illinois.

And two

2011-12-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

What a weird season this has been.

I thought Florida State would make a better showing than they did. Kidder's a cut above Iowa State's hitters, but I really don't know where their ball control went. Jitters? Regardless, that one was ugly.

When did Ward step up her game so much? She's become a top-notch offensive player if the Illini's last two matches are any indication. She and Bartsch make for a tough combo. And kudos to Luhrsen for a really well-played match.

USC was fortunate to win g4, imo -- and it was a credit to Jupiter scoring from the back row. But the match still came down to this: USC needed Jupiter to beat McMahon and she couldn't. They were back in that rotation for g5 and Alex was slowed down again. They needed more than Alex and Williams, but they *really* needed Alex to score again McMahon, letting the other hitters deal with the smaller block.

I liked what Haley tried to do, but, ultimately, that was the difference.

And then there were 4 (and not the 4 I picked)

2011-12-13T13:17:00.000-08:00

So my 1st, 3rd, 9th and 12th most likely teams to win it all advance to San Antonio. Not an impressive effort on my part.

But it gets worse. These were the teams I was pulling for in each match in the round of 16:

Kentucky
Penn State
Purdue (I guess)
Minnesota
Ohio State
Florida
Hawaii
Pepperdine (I guess)

Round of 8 (adjusted for the winners in the previous round):

Texas (I guess)
Iowa State
Florida
Pepperdine

Add it up and you can see that I was disappointed in 10 of the 12 matches. Part of this has to do with pulling for the underdog, but most of it has to do with the Fates crushing my every dream. I have pissed someone off, there is no doubt about it.

Finals?

Florida State and Illinois with Illinois winning it all. But this has more to do with wanted someone new to win it all -- and not wanting the Pac12 to win another title -- than it does with really pulling for either of those teams. Florida State is a nice story and I did get to see them in person, but I really don't have a strong desire to see any of these teams win it all.

And, that too, is Karma messing around with me.

And then there were 16 ...

2011-12-06T10:05:00.000-08:00

First of all, congratulations to the Concordia Golden Bears for their 5th consecutive DII volleyball championship. A truly amazing feat, one that may not be matched for ... well, two more weeks.

Meanwhile, over at the DI end of the pool, 64 teams jumped in and 16 crawled out. What an absolutely horrible metaphor that was! What the hell is the matter with me??

Anyhow, 64 buses tried to jump the canyon and only 16 landed safely on the other side, with (if my math is correct) 48 busloads of screaming passengers plummeting to a horrific end, complete with fireballs and twisted wreckage.

Oh, never mind.

My ranking of the final 16, in terms of their odds to win it all (taking into account the path each must take to get there):

1) USC - their semi-final, against Hawaii, appears to be their biggest hurdle prior to the final four. I like them in the national semi-final against the Gainesville winner.

2) Texas - they should handle Kentucky while UCLA and PSU will each have their hands full beating the other.

3) Illinois - now I don't think they are the 3rd best team in the country, but I do like their chances in Gainesville (although Florida could easily upend them).

4) Purdue - practically the same rationale as the Illinois pick, although either Minnesota or Iowa State will be a formidable test for the Boilermakers - and Florida State is far from a gimmee.

5) Penn State - I don't think this will be their year, but if they can get past UCLA and Texas (assuming it's Texas), I expect they will be in the championship, where anything could happen.

6) Hawaii - they have to beat USC, of course, but if they do ...

7) Iowa State - can't see them winning it all, but final four is doable.

8) Minnesota - ditto, just less so. The Gophers' inconsistency is not going away. But there is that home court advantage.

9) UCLA - not sold on the Bruins and they have a brutal road to win it all.

10) Florida - a true dark horse, but this is not an impossibility. If the Gators make good use of their own home court advantage, they have the experience to win it all.

11) Pepperdine - odds are really starting to get long from this point on. I'm not sure I even like the Waves chances against Kansas State. But there is talent on this team, no doubt about that, and they could show everyone how underrated the West Coast has been this entire season.

12) Florida State - not going to happen, but I'm looking forward to seeing the team play again.

13) Kansas State - this is a hot team, but that won't be enough.

14) Kentucky - I like this team, but I hate their chances in the bracket they are in.

15) Ohio State - an upset of the Illini is not unthinkable and the final would then be winnable, but that's as far as I can see the Buckeyes going.

16) Michigan - great win over Stanford, but I don't see them beating Florida.

The Mystery of the Missing AVCA Poll

2011-11-29T05:24:00.000-08:00

Was it a protest? or was it an attempt to spare The Committee further embarrassment through comparisons?

Will we ever find out?

My breath is bated. How 'bout yours?

Brackets are out

2011-11-28T11:16:00.000-08:00

That sound you just heard? Mick Haley's head exploding.

Temptation to use David Cronenberg graphic? Successfully resisted.

Team USA qualifies for the Olympics

2011-11-17T07:44:00.000-08:00

What makes this feat even more impressive is that they were forced to play with Molly "Round Head" Roffenstucker.

Ask (R)uffda! (with help from his dead dog)

2011-11-14T10:59:00.000-08:00

It's just a little past National I'm Going to College to Play Volleyball! Day, or whatever it is they are calling it. Stanford Will Tell Us When They Damned Well Please Day?

There are some questions.

What makes a player "the real deal"?

Good question, but not the one I would have asked. The better question is what makes a player "the fake deal" or "the realish deal"? Why are these players deals at all? How does it make them feel to be compared to Walmart merchandise? What is Reality anyhow? And where did I leave my car keys?

I'm told she can jump out of the gym. Does that make her a real deal?

No. This makes her a problem. Last I checked, volleyball was played inside the gym, not somewhere in the neighborhood of the gym. She needs to learn to control that super power, just like when Superman learned that his x-ray vision was making it impossible for him to hang out in the lingerie department at the mall.

And the cannon for an arm?

Another problem, especially when she wants to go swimming. One, it's not an attractive look in a bathing suit, and two, she's liable to drown.

So who has the best recruiting class?

Way too early to tell. But I hear a couple of schools have loaded up with real deals who can jump out of gyms even with their cannon arms. I'm picking one of those.

What is Reality, now that you mention it?

Well, apparently it has nothing to do with the Kardashians. Plato, I think, said it best when he wrote: "Reality is the damnedest thing. Reminds me of a cave and shadows from a fire. And meatloaf, for some reason. Let's eat! We can hash it all out later."

That doesn't make any sense.

Hey, bring it up with Plato.

Upsets in the last week

2011-11-13T17:53:00.000-08:00

Just for the record:

Purdue d. Nebraska
Oregon d. UCLA
Washington d. Stanford
Illinois d. Penn State (a mild one, at best, I admit)
Michigan d. Minnesota
Duke d. Florida State
St Marys d. Pepperdine
Kansas State d. Oklahoma (another mild one)
Baylor d. Oklahoma
Northwestern d. Ohio State
Wisconsin d. Michigan (another mild one)
TCU d. Colorado State

Other than that? No problemo.

Two things I don't really want to do anymore

2011-11-13T17:48:00.000-08:00

1) Submit a top 30 ranking for RichKern.com. It's impossible.
2) Participate in the VT weekly Pick the Winners contest. I might as well pull teams out of a hat. I have no idea who will win given matches anymore.

I also don't want to do the laundry.

The Rules They Are A Changin'

2011-10-27T10:49:00.000-07:00

Quoted verbatim from John Kessel's document at http://usavolleyball.org/grassroots/historical-information.

For instance:

1900 -- Dribbling line was eliminated.

1916 -- Second serves were eliminated. Serves that hit the net or any outside object was out of bounds.

1935 -- Deliberate shouting and stomping the feet at an opponent was deemed unsportsmanlike.

1947 -- Only front line players could interchange positions to make a two-person block.

1951 -- Back row spiking was allowed, provided the attacker remained in the back court.

1952 -- The attack line was introduced at 7 feet, 6 inches. Blockers must indicate whether or not they touched the ball (the origin of the “no touch” hand signal).

1966 -- Blocker’s fingers could inadvertently cross the plane of the net if they did not contact the ball or affect play.

1968 -- Attack line moved to 10 feet from the net. Back line spikers could land in front of the spiking line if they left the ground behind it. Blockers could reach across the net, but could not contact the ball until after it had been hit by the attacker. One back line player could block, but at no time could there be more than three players deployed in position to block. Balls must be played above the waist.

1974 -- Antennae were added on the net, one ball’s width outside the sidelines.

1976 -- Blocks no longer counted as the first of a team’s three hits. Double hits were prohibited on any type of dig (rescinding the “hard driven spike” rule).

1984 -- A player could make multiple contacts of a team’s first hit if there was only one attempt and there was no “finger action” on the ball. Blocking or attacking serves became illegal.

1988 -- “Rally point” scoring introduced for deciding games of three or five game matches. 17 point “cap” introduced for all games (i.e. 17-16 wins any game).

1994 -- Prosthetic limbs may be worn if the referee determines the player will gain no artificial advantage.

1996 -- Ball may be contacted with any part of a player’s body.

1999 -- All scoring changed to “rally.” Non-deciding games played to 25 with no cap, deciding games to 15 with no cap. Option to register a Libero on roster allowed.

2001 -- Ball allowed to touch the net while crossing it on the serve.

© copyright 2007 by John Kessel/ USA Volleyball

Two liberos?!

2011-10-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

No one ever tells me anything.

Now we have to answer a new question:

"How come they only let one of that other team's players play?"

The weak, in review

2011-10-24T09:35:00.000-07:00

No, that is not a typo. We're always talking about the Top Ten -- and we could this week, too. Illinois was thumped by Nebraska, so we're going to have a new #1. And #2-10 is far from clear, in my opinion. But I'm turning my attention to the Bottom Ten, according to Pablo. Who are they and how did they get there?

(Pablo Rankings are as of 10/17/11)

#10 (#320 in Pablo) Coppin State - The Eagles are 5-18 overall and 2-6 in the Mid-Eastern Athletic. 5 wins seems like a lot for our #10 team, but their best win was over #298, Loyola Maryland. Everyone else has been in the 300s. They have only played two teams above #160 -- Towson and Bowling Green -- and were swept by both.

#9 (#321) Grambling State - The Lady Tigers are 4-18 overall and 4-4 in the Southwestern Athletic. Their 4 wins are against teams in the 320s, but, unlike Coppin State, they have ventured into the top 100 to play TCU, New Mexico State and LSU. They failed to reach 17 points in any of those 9 games.

#8 (#322) Arkansas-Pine Bluff - The Lady Lions (who lost to the Lady Tigers, by the way, in 5) are 4-18 overall and 4-3 in the Southwestern Athletic. No wins above 320 and two losses to DII schools. They have played two schools in the 20s -- Tulsa and Oklahoma -- reaching 15 points in the Sooner match.

#7 (#323) Mississippi Valley State - The Lady Devils, yet another SWA team, stand 11-10 and 5-6 in conference. How do they rank so low, and below the Lady Tigers and Lions no less? Probably has to do with the 5 matches against NAIA schools (all wins) and another against a DII school (another win). Take those away and their 5 wins are all in the SWA. They are yet to play a team ranked above #249.

#6 (#324) Southern - The Lady Jaguars are 7-15 and 5-6 in the, you guessed it, SWA. I'm sorry. But I'm done with the SWA and the Lady felines. Let's move on.

#5 (#325) North Carolina A&T - The Aggies end the SWA's run, as our 2nd MEA representative. Their record? 1-23 and 1-7 in conference. Their lone win is over Savannah State, a decisive sweep. This record is even more impressive considering they have only played one team close to #100 (NC State at #108).

#4 (#326) Saint Peters - The Metro Atlantic Athletic pops into our mix with the Peahens at 0-23 and 0-12 in conference. On the bright side, they have gone 5 in two matches. On the dark cloudy side, they have no one left on their schedule ranked below them -- although Loyola Maryland looms small.

#3 (#327) Texas Southern - The SWA reappears with the -- WHAT? -- Lady Tigers at 1-18 and 0-8 in conference.

#2 (#328) Savannah State - The aforementioned Tigers (no sex indicated) are 0-19 and 0-8 in the MEA. This includes being swept by NC A&T, but the rematch, at home, is scheduled for 11/11/11. Is victory possible? They have to like the date, unless that's their point totals in the match.

#1 (#329) Alcorn State - The Lady Braves take the top spot by virtue of a 2-21 record, including 0-8 in the SWA. Pablo has them 605 points behind Savannah State, which is more than 3 times the Home Court Advantage of 178. In short, they are the undisputed #1. So whom did they beat? Dillard and Tougaloo, both NAIA schools. Tougaloo? They also have the distinction of losing 4-25, 5-25, 4-25 to Arkansas State.

So what was the point of this little exercise? Was it just mean-spirited and basically uncalled for?

I'd like to think it wasn't. But why do I feel so guilty?

And some Kudos for Boos

2011-10-22T16:17:00.000-07:00

Tight third game, Concordia attack appears long but is called in. UMD players and staff see it as out. Does anyone get a yellow card? Is there any excessive whining? No. Concordia goes on a run (on their way to winning the game 25-15) and UMD coach Jim Boos calls a timeout. He does mention the play to the down ref, but after a brief conversation, lets it go.

UMD wins the 4th 25-20 and the 5th 17-15, snapping the Golden Bears' winning streak at 44, their home watch winning streak at 61, and their NSIC winning streak at 85.

And no histrionics. Just great volleyball, from both teams.

(R)uffda!'s Journal -- a brush with fame

2011-10-21T18:15:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time (this is long) ...

12/7/1996 330pm

Not LBSU at all.

I dillied. I dallied. I'm still four hours early. But I'm confident this is the place.

I sit on top of the trunk of my Susuki Esteem, the sun at my back, the Albert Reingardt Gymnasium looming in front of me. They appear to call it The Pyramid. I can't imagine why, unless it has something to do with the fact it's shaped like a pyramid. The outer shell appears to be aluminum or some such material. The surface is grooved. It must be quite a sight in a rainstorm. It is also just a little darker than sky blue, but still blends in nicely with the heavens above.

It is also sealed up so tight you'd think there were mummified pharoahs inside. I could see inside, and, yes, they appear to be ready for a volleyball match. But, as of this point, there are no tickets to be had, nor any being sold.

[a bad sketch of The Pyramid]

I have just purchased my third local newspaper. I have low expectations for extensive game reportage/features. The first two did not even list the event.

This state charges you to park everywhere you go.

Hold everything! First the Press Telegram actually has an article, including a note about "former St. Anthony standout" Tera Fiamengo. And maybe it is just "The Pyramid." It says "The Albert Reingardt Entrance" over the door here on the west (?) side. Maybe it's just the entrance that bears Al's name. If not, we'll have to research into Al's fascination with or connection to blue pyramids.

No sign of the vaunted Misty May or her 49er cronies. At the beach, no doubt.

I see movement inside. Perhaps the 4 hour pre-game extravaganza is about to begin. Perhaps not. I'm moving to the steps.

There. Sitting on The Pyramid steps, the sun sliding down behind the parking ramp to my left. "Hey, I've been here since Thursday" will be my response to any potentially embarrassing encounters with people who know me, who might be, and probably will be thinking "that doofus's camped out on the stairs 4 hours before game time." I'm thinking maybe I can tell Misty the game's been moved to San Clemente. The Nixon Compound.

The lot is filling up, but not with VB fans methinks. There does seem to be traffic to and from the ticket office, but I don't believe tickets are being sold. I suppose they could be 49ers, but they're pretty damned short.

Who knows where the pasty-faced legion is. [There is a charter group of Minnesota fans on their way.] Probably Disneyland or some such thing. Not everyone sees the thrill in travelling half-way across the country to sit on these steps.

Let's go check out the plaques by Al's entrance, shall we? Ah, just the wall of "Pyramid Capital Campaign" fame. Nothing on Al. There are people inside, however. Preparations are being made.

Dang! It's getting pretty darned cool with the sun down and all. I'm switching from sandals to shoes.

Back at the Esteem, the vigil continues. (Is it just me or has no one else ever heard of a Suzuki "Esteem" either? And isn't that a lousy name for a subcompact?) The parking ramp casts its shadow high against The Pyramid. A single gull flies over the point. No one appears to be bothering with the self-service parking permit dispenser.

We seem to be directly below the approach path for the Long Beach Municipal Airport. No doubt The Pyramid provides a handy point-of-reference.

5:45pm

The team arrives. I am either invisible or just inconsequential. No one even notices me. I am not surprised. I will not need any of my "ad libs."

Long Beach has been straggling in, including a hobbling player who I think was Ms. May. Drives up in a convertible and parks next to the Esteem. Another player thinks she has "left her kneepads." She has not.

Darkness has swallowed The Pyramid. Late arrivals will miss its full effect.

I have now stepped up the 6 flights to the top of the ramp three times. I think that's enough.

[That's it for the pre-match comments. Almost 15 years ago. The Gophs lose 10-15, 13-15, 6-15. Katrien DeDecker's last match (among others).]

12/8/1996 10am (near Orange County Airport)

I've pulled into a deserted parking lot near the airport. There's a lot of vegetation, birds are chirping, squawking, trilling. The sun is shining (it's warmer today). All in all, it's swell.

I feel like I'm dealing with a break-up.

It dawned on me late last night or maybe this AM that I'm probably depressed because the season is over. That usually happens. I, in my one-sided sports fan way, have grown incredibly close to them over the last 4 months, not to mention, for many of them, the last 4 years. And now they will not be a part of my life. It's sad.

But here in my parking lot, sitting on top of my Esteem, things seem a little better. God, I love the sun. And warmth. I'm living in the wrong state. Like I said, one of Life's unattainable desires. Not that it has to be. But for me ...

Somebody else is now in my parking lot. Time to move on.

[For Gorf and Vagabond -- and Mike. And my oldest daughter, born January 15, 1997.]

Friday Night! It's time for some Big Ten Volleyball!

2011-10-21T16:27:00.000-07:00

Or not, as the case may be.

Inspired by Coach Cook -- more boons

2011-10-20T23:29:00.000-07:00

John Cook has recently become an even more vocal proponent of a spring volleyball season for college women. This, he claims, will be a "boon" for the promotion of the sport, since it will no longer have to compete with football, the World Series and Oktoberfest.

I have been inspired by the "proactive thinker" of Lincoln to come up with some of my own ideas to promote volleyball.

*Renaming the sport "foootball." Sure, it'll cause some confusion, probably some anger, possibly even some lawsuits (pretty sure the extra "o" will give us some indemnity). But some of those duped fans might stick around, right?

*Adding an 8th day of the week, tentatively known as (R)uffda!day, dedicated solely to the sport of volleyball. There may also be ice cream and cake involved.

*Combining volleyball with the Powerball lottery. Tickets are still $1, but they come with mandatory attendance at a volleyball match of your choice. What's in it for the Powerball people, you ask? That's funny. That's what they're asking, too.

*Introducing an element of danger to the sport. Making it, for want of a better word, an Xtreme Xport. An exploding ball is one thought. A barbed wire net is another.

*Requiring the athletes to wear spandex shorts. Oh. Wait. Never mind.

*Moving football, the World Series and Oktoberfest to the spring -- perhaps renaming the latter "Maifest." As long as there's beer, who's going to care?

*Encouraging fighting. As hockey tries to weed it out of their sport, it behooves us to nurture its growth in ours. Somebody's going all Ogonna Nnamani on your team? Time to sub in Beatrice "The Beast" Rudzinki to "even things out."

USA wins Bronze at Pan Am games

2011-10-20T23:26:00.000-07:00

Redemption of sorts for the coaching duo of Manischewitz and Sherbet.

The week in review

2011-10-17T11:12:00.001-07:00

The latest poll will be out shortly. The only movement in the top ten figures to be with Udub. Where will they be placed? 5? 6? 7?

This is my top ten, again, and this time it's my current top ten. This list and a dollar will get you a McDouble, but here it is anyhow.

#1 Illinois -- wins at home over the Michigans (in 5 with MSU) take the nation's last undefeated team to 19-0. And now they play the red hot Huskers in Lincoln on Wednesday for the undisputed Big 10 lead.

#2 USC -- I've moved the Trojans above the Golden Bears due to the fact they are on top of the Pac 12. It does appear, however, that this conference title is up for grabs.

#3 Cal -- nice win over Washington, in a very close match, albeit 3-1.

#4 Nebraska -- I was tempted to move them as high as #1, but the Illini's win at PSU is hard to ignore. #4 is probably too low, however. But, you know me, I'm a Pac 12 shill.

#5 Hawaii -- I'm catching grief for this ranking, from people I respect. I have dropped the Wahine from #3 to here over the past two weeks and I could see them sliding a couple of more spots with some impressive wins from teams below them, but I do believe this team is underranked.

#6 UCLA -- this team, for instance, having beaten UH on the island, could move up. But there are still those losses to UA and Pep to consider. Tough one. The Bruins, like the Trojans, beat Oregon 3-1 and OSU 3-0 this past week, in LA.

#7 Stanford -- impressive win over UW (3-0). The Cardinal may be hitting its stride -- or whatever a color hits when its going well. Its maximum hue?

#8 Penn State -- knock them all you want, but they just went to West Lafayette and dispatched a good Purdue club in 4. I was impressed -- and that Big 10 title is still not out of their reach.

#9 Florida -- the Gators move back into the Top Ten, as Purdue falls to #11. For me.

#10 Washington -- Huskies proved something by playing Cal tough, then proved something else by being swept by the Cardinal. Still a mystery team. And by "mystery team," I mean they could be better than #10. Ross with a very good weekend (against Cal especially); Vansant struggled.

On the old cusp? #11 Purdue, #12 UNI, #13 Texas, #14 ISU, #15 Minnesota. I see a drop from #16 on down -- waiting for one or two of those teams to shift into a higher gear, or whatever it is a Wave, Sooner, Duck, Seminole, Flyer, Volunteer, etc. shifts into. A maximum hue?

What's the AVCA say?

1. Illinois
2. California
3. Southern California
4. Nebraska
5. Stanford
6. UCLA
7. Washington
8. Hawai'i
9. Penn State
10. Texas

Washington falls from 2 to 7. Hmmmm.

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the 5-game Loss

2011-10-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

Just kidding.

I hate it. Always have. Always will.

That is all.

Why the different colored jersey?

2011-10-15T11:40:00.001-07:00

I was sitting next to someone the other day who asked me this FAQ. I am a casual fan-friendly sort of guy, so I gave her my usual spiel about the designated backrow defensive specialist, compared the position to a designated hitter, told her to watch the "substitution" pattern as one middle hitter came in and another came off, etc. etc. etc.

But it dawned on me that I had missed a real opportunity to mess with someone's mind, an occasion one should not cruise past blithely.

I have come up with three, better, answers. For future use. Let me know which one you prefer.

1) "Oh, her. She's a real head case. Coach is at her wit's end, but the kid just refuses to wear any other color."

2) "What are you talking about? They all have the same colored jerseys on." Continue with this no matter how insistent the spectator becomes.

3) "She's on the other team. She gets to play on the other side of the court and try to screw them up. Just watch. She's really, really good at it."

Ask the Dead Dog

2011-10-14T09:14:00.000-07:00

Back by popular demand! A figure of speech, I admit. Perhaps even a lie, seeing as how there has been no demand whatsoever, other than from the dead dog himself. But without further doggie ado ...

As we sit here waiting for Friday afternoon to pass so the Friday night matches can commence, we initially thought it might be a good opportunity to reach into the old mail bag and answer some of the numerous letters we have been collecting from neighborhood mailboxes. However, Luke -- the titular dead dog, for those who have forgotten -- reminded me that this is, in fact, a felony; so we are moving on to plan B: Luke answering questions that he is asking himself.

Why would we do this, you ask? Great! There's question #1!

LUKE: That's a lousy question. Let me ask a better one.

LUKE ASKING A BETTER QUESTION: Where have you been, Luke? And how's that novel coming along?

No, we will not be asking, or answering, questions like that. They must be volleyball-related. It's a simple rule. Follow it, please.

LUKE ASKING A DIFFERENT QUESTION: First of all, it's great to have you back.

LUKE: Thanks. It's great to be back, even if I am still dead.

LUKE, CONTINUING WITH THE BETTER QUESTION: Will anyone ever write "the great American volleyball novel"?

LUKE: Excellent question. It so happens I have spent the last two years in Denmark attempting to do just that. I am proud to say it is coming along nicely. It's set in Denmark and involves a dead dog writing a novel ...

Stop it! Volleyball! Now!

LUKE, ASKING A VOLLEYBALL QUESTION: What is the proper height for a net? I don't really care, but (R)uffda!'s being an ass.

LUKE: Depends on how you define "proper," "height," and "net." Also depends on the culture. In Denmark, for instance, "What is the proper height for a net?" is considered one of the most obscene things anyone could possibly ask a Danish pastry shop owner.

That is not true.

LUKE: Oh, so suddenly you're the Danish pastry shop obscenity expert? Have you even been to Copenhagen? Do you even know what a Kopenhangener Gebäck is?

LUKE, ASKING ANOTHER VOLLEYBALL QUESTION: Did you see those pants Rob Patrick was wearing the other night?

LUKE: I did. How many points do you think that cost his team?

LUKE, PUZZLED THAT LUKE IS ASKING HIM A QUESTION: You're asking me?

LUKE: Yes.

LUKE, NOW VERY PUZZLED: I'm very puzzled.

LUKE: I see that. It says "Luke, now very puzzled."

Will you please stop this?! Answer your own question. One of you!

LUKE: I have to think it was worth at least three points a game to Kentucky. Young women are very style-conscious. That sort of thing has to mess with their minds. Plus they were pretty hypnotic. Hard to follow the ball when you're staring at Rob's pants.

LUKE, COMMENTING ON LUKE'S COMMENT: That's something I've heard many coaches say.

LUKE: How do you think this rally score experiment is going?

LUKE, NOW THE LUKE ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS IT SEEMS: I can tell you what they think in Denmark.

LUKE: What's that?

LUKE, ACTUALLY STOOPING TO STEALING FROM AIRPLANE: It's a small country in Europe, known for pastries and odd obscenities.

You two do realize you have destroyed my blog, just when the readership was starting to grow, right?

LUKE: Your readers are abnormally short? Are they children or just growth-impaired? Or do you mean your readers are mostly DSs?

LUKE, ANSWERING FOR (R)UFFDA!: What they lack in height, they make up for in a distinct lack of mental acuity.

Hey! You can't say that!

LUKE: One last question before we go play fetch or whatever it is that dead dogs are supposed to do.

LUKE, WITH THE LAST QUESTION: Do you think he'll ever let us do Ask the Dead Dog again?

LUKE: Who died and left him in charge? I mean, besides me?

10 things VB commentators should never say

2011-10-13T13:13:00.000-07:00

"This fifth game will come down to who wants it less."

"There's something special about wearing [name of school]'s spandex."

"He's forgotten more about volleyball than he actually ever learned."

"That libero couldn't dig her own grave if you put a gun to her head."

"She has a cannon for an arm and, let me tell you, it makes meal times damned awkward."

"She doesn't play like a sophomore. She plays like a 3rd grader."

"These teams do not like each other. Something about some guy named Chad."

"She has some serious hops, but I hear she had some serious trots last week."

"Don't let their record fool you. They easily could have lost all 25 matches."

"Say, Susie. Why does that player have the wrong colored jersey on?"

Middle Tennessee wins 7th straight

2011-10-11T22:16:00.000-07:00

I would have missed this one. Good thing the PtW contest starts tomorrow. Pablo missed it, too.

Middle Tennessee beats Marquette 25-22, 25-19, 26-24.

Tidbits:

Marquette is 5-0 in the Big East and had beaten MTS, at home, earlier this year.

Middle Tennessee, at one point 2-9, has now won 7 straight to even their record. Their last loss, in their Sun Belt opener to Arkansas State, was 18-20 in the 5th. They have lost one GAME since then, in their upset of Western KY.

That's all I've got for 10/11.

Random VolleyTalk posts

2011-10-11T12:13:00.000-07:00

Why me, God? Why the hell not you?

"Mine is a tuba. Yours is a kazoo."

"Shoulda, coulda, they lost."

"Blaming others for your poor choices or be a man and take responsibility? Tough choice for you, apparently."

"AA, really?"

"Option #2."

"NCAA sponsored 4-square.... heck yeah!!"

"If people would sing it like the drinking song the tune is from instead of like a funeral dirge it would improve tremendously."

"There's a guy who does announcing at local HS contests named Olaf Pollard."

"I have the hopeless feeling I get when I write my Congressman or Senator, but I always feel it's worth a try."

"The best way to not make errors at the wrong time is to not make errors."

"chicken? it's the same bet."

"He's aging a lot this season."

And the (random) winner:

"Really? equating coconuts to practicing zoophilia?"

The weekend in review

2011-10-09T13:40:00.001-07:00

It's almost over. Cal is down 0-1 to the Beavers, so there could still be one more upset in the works, but let's review (rankings are mine, sorry*):

#1 Illinois wins its second huge Big Ten road match of the year, again in 5, this time over the Lions (the other was over the Gophers), firmly establishing themselves (for another week) as the #1 team in the land. Woo-hoo.

#2 UCLA gets scorched in the desert, dropping their own 5th game to the Cats. Adjustment to ranking needed.

#3 Hawaii only had the one match and they trounced San Hoser State. It may be time to drop them a spot, nonetheless, what with the Bruins' troubles and all.

#4 Cal is playing, but they swept Oregon on Friday, a good week so far.

#5 Nebraska popped the under-ranked Boils in Lincoln. Huskers seem to be shucking at a high level of late.

#6 Stanford beat the Oregons. For me, the Cardinal are overachieving this year -- and you won't hear me say that very often so please make a note of it.

#7 Penn State continues to struggle, in a Top Ten Struggle sort of way. People seem to think this team will improve a lot by the second half. I look at their schedule and wonder if that will be enough. Could this actually be a year where the Lions don't challenge for a conference title?

#8 USC had a couple of good wins in Arizona. I think the Trojans are ready to be moved up toward the top of the rankings again.

#9 Purdue lost that match to Nebraska, but there's no embarrassment there. Challenges ahead, however.

#10 Washington remains an enigma. Could be top five. Could be in the 15-20 range. Stanford and Cal this week, right? That'll tell us something. Maybe.

Outside the top 10? #11 Florida, #12 UNI and #13 Texas probably stay put. #14 Michigan may have to give way to the Gophers and then some, after losing to Wisconsin. The others probably stay put: #15 Oklahoma, #16 Oregon, #17 Iowa State, #19 Florida State and #20 Tennessee -- with Pepperdine, San Diego and Dayton knocking on the door.

Good week for the ACC, in an odd way. UNC establishes itself as a top 30 team and North Carolina State keeps pushing good teams to the limit.

Ciao for now.

*And by "sorry" I mean sorry if you don't accept them as quality rankings, not sorry that I am using them.

Are You Ready for Some Volleyball!?

2011-10-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

Go away, Hank. We're barely ready to rumble anymore.

In other news, I'm calling this weekend's upset. I'll let you know if I was right.

Featured VT thread of the week is "Reasons to carry a grudge." I haven't read it yet, but it sounds promising, especially since I have started leaving my grudge at home lately.

It Could Be Worse

2011-10-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

http://www.dignittanyvolleyball.com/2011/10/05/ruffdas-wayback-machine-theres-always-a-silver-lining/

The Week in Review: Break Out the Champaign Champagne

2011-09-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

The latest AVCA rankings, also known as the “Pac 12 (and a few other teams for the heck of it) rankings”, have shuffled the top ten teams (previous week’s ranking in parentheses):

#1 Illinois (3)
#2 UCLA (7)
#3 Washington (4)
#4 California (1)
#5 Southern California (12)
#6 Stanford (2)
#7 Nebraska (10)
#8 Texas (8)
#9 Penn State (5)
#10 Minnesota (9)

Dropping out of this elite listing, to #13, is Florida, which lost in five games to unranked then but now #23 Tennessee. And still just on the outside looking in are #11 Hawaii and #12 Purdue (undefeated and a 3-0 winner over then #18 Michigan), both of whom still have a strong case for being on the inside looking out.

[Note: These are the new rankings for 9/26/2011. All rankings cited below are rankings from the 9/19/2011 poll.]

Upsets of the Week

It was another calm week in terms of upsets, unless you count Herman Cain in Florida or my mood after the Illinois-Minnesota match. Southern Cal’s rise in the rankings was fueled by their wins over #1 California and #2 Stanford, both at home, but these were mild upsets at best. The Trojans, if you recall, were the pick of many for 2011’s team to beat.

The aforementioned Gator loss to the Volunteers, because it was in Gainesville, is our Upset of the Week. This match was also long on entertainment and suspense, going to 18-16 in that fifth game.

Tennessee @ Florida 9/25/2011
Box score

In West Coast Conference play, #16 San Diego was beaten by unranked San Francisco on the Dons’ home court 18-25, 21-25, 20-25; and in Big West Conference action, #21 Long Beach State dropped a five-game home match to rival UCSB.

Top 25 Losses

In addition to the matches mentioned above, #3 Illinois unlaunched a wicked serve attack to defeat #9 Minnesota, in Minneapolis, in five; #7 UCLA, like USC, also beat California and Stanford at home; and #10 Nebraska, playing their first Big Ten conference match, defeated #5 Penn State (in five after the Lions came back from an 0-2 deficit) in Wednesday’s Big Ten opener in Lincoln, and then dropped #24 Ohio State (in four), also at home, on Saturday.

Speaking of Illinois

The Illini’s #1 ranking this week is the first in the program’s history. The team is now 13-0 on the season, including four fifth game wins along the way. Coming up: Purdue this week at home, and then the Ohio State/Penn State road trip.

Matches This Week

Among the more interesting matches to follow this week are:

Texas @ Oklahoma 9/28
Oregon @ Washington 9/30
Minnesota @ Ohio State 9/30
Wichita State @ Northern Iowa 9/30
Duke @ Florida State 9/30
Purdue @ Illinois 10/1
Nebraska @ Michigan 10/1
Minnesota @ Penn State 10/1
Texas @ Iowa State 10/2
Duke @ Miami-FL 10/2

Shameless Plug of the Week

The shameless plug is for the website RichKern.com. This site, run by former Navy Seal and convicted (and still incarcerated) felon, Ron Kern, is a virtual treasure chest of volleyball jewels and other interesting baubles. I urge you to check it out and consider becoming a premium subscription member. You have game scores, rosters, links to websites, the Pablo rankings, and the wonderful graphic for Top 30 Head-to-Head Results.

It is always heartwarming to see someone turn his life around, like Ron is trying to do now.

[Disclaimer: Ron will deny he was ever a Navy Seal or a convicted (and incarcerated) felon. He will even claim that his name is not “Ron.” I stand by my information (until he slaps me with a lawsuit).]

Round of 16 picks

2010-12-08T18:14:00.000-08:00

Florida over Purdue. Unfortunately for the Boilermakers, Florida probably got their stumbling out of the way v. FSU.

Texas over Illinois. The Illini showed the volleyball fans something by dismantling Cincinnati, but Texas is a whole 'nother structure.

Missouri over Duke. For one thing, I want to see Molly Kreklow in the round of 8.

Penn State over Oklahoma. This one could be closer than people expect, but the Big Ten is not going to be shut out in this round.

Stanford over Ohio State. I still think the Buckeyes are much better than they have shown and I don't think the Dayton win was OSU at their best. But it's Stanford.

USC over Indiana. This is another one that could be a better match than people are expecting.

California over Minnesota. I would not be surprised by the opposite result. This could be the most even match of the 8. Or it might not be. You never can tell with the Gophers.

Washington over Nebraska. I had to pick one true upset. I think U-dub at home is a different animal and it's been a while since the Huskers have been tested. Send in the Hate Mail. I could use something to read.

Rooting for Mary

2010-12-05T21:40:00.000-08:00

So we're set for the round of 16. Time to talk about the Elephant in the Room:

Round of 32 -- 27 male head coaches, 5 female.
Round of 16 -- 13 male head coaches, 3 female.

I can't say I think much of Duke's or Indiana's chances. So, it's all down to Mary. Again.

I have my favorites, Minnesota and Cal (who, darnitall, play each other next), but I am also rooting for the Gators. I don't really have an overtly political reason for this allegiance. I just think it would be cool.

Go Gators!

The Second Rate Blog

2010-12-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

Man, that's a load off my mind. All this time I felt like I needed to be putting out a First Rate Blog. Who knew?

I'm sure this will inspire me to mediocrity nowhere near my wildest dreams. I have a feeling I've already started. Right here. Just now.

Meanwhile, in Volleyballville, the DII tournament is coming to a close with Concordia-St. Paul vying for their 4th straight title. Didn't think they'd even get a crack at it. And, on the larger stage, the DI tournament has kicked off, after another Bracket Fracas of epic proportions. This year, the consequences have not been pretty: #15 Hawai'i out after having to play U-Dub in Seattle; #13 LSU out after having to play Tulsa in Oklahoma; #5 UNI out after being made a #5 seed; #11 Tennessee up against Indiana in Bloomington looks like trouble, too.

Oh, and Holly McPeak made Lauren Cook mad. Woo-hoo, I guess.

Rob Patrick's pants

2010-09-30T15:31:00.000-07:00

I am a tolerant person. To each his own, I sometimes say. That, and Get the hell out of my way, you dumb lump of blubber. But I have to draw the line somewhere and I'm drawing it here.

Bringing things up-to-date

2010-09-28T20:32:00.000-07:00

It's been a couple of weeks. What's happened? Do I even remember? Let's see what I can dig up from the hard-pack soil of my memory.

The Gophers did lose in San Diego, to the T-Oreos no less. They were up 2-0. To prove it was no fluke, they repeated the feat in Ann Arbor, to the Wolvoreos. But I don't want to talk about that.

Penn State has lost twice if you can believe that. They lost to Stanford (talk about your cloud-covered silver linings) and then lost to Illinois last weekend, snapping a pair of formidable streaks. Oh, wait. I already told you about the Stanford loss, didn't I?

Texas lost to Texas A&M. That was pretty surprising, and brought out the Elliott bashers. Washington (or U-dub as I like to call them) lost to Oregon (or U-duck as I like to call them). Syracuse finally lost. I know. I didn't care either.

You know what? There hasn't been all that much happening these past two weeks. No wonder I haven't been blogging. I should be writing about some of my dreams. Those have been much more interesting, although John Cook hasn't been in one for a while.

I could waste your time with an AVCA poll analysis (like I've wasted VT posters' time), but I'll spare you. Suffice to say there are six PacTen teams in the top 12 including, inexplicably, UCLA. But who cares, right?

I am once again amazed by the enemies I have made at Volley Talk. There's some people there who really don't like me. Thank gawd I have GSoBB's adoration. I don't need anything else.

I wish I were taking a road trip with you two this season. Even a trip to Iowa City would be nice. Ah, well. Life is loss.

Weekend #3 is history

2010-09-14T13:05:00.000-07:00

Hope you weren't waiting breathlessly for my latest blog entry. I suspect you weren't, but who knows what sort of reading material you've been provided. This might be Shakespearean in comparison. Or Pioneer Pressian, at least.

Let's see. What's happened? Lauren Gibbemeyer has broken her wrist, although it's being kept hush-hush. Not sure why. I'm confident that my posting it here will not interfere with that plan.

Stanford, blast-it-all, beat Penn State. It's not like I didn't expect it and it was long past time for the Knitting Lions to lose, but BASTA! and all, you know. This has made The Cardinal the consensus #1, except for two AVCA voters who apparently believe PSU is still #1. Birthers, no doubt.

There's been a ruckus over at VolleyTalk and you, Gorf, are partly to blame. Bill continued being Bill and was joined by a couple of other Bill-esque posters and Odin eventually had to ban them as an alternative to just shutting down the Political Ramblings section. My arch-nemesis took a cheapshot and then went away, as is his wont. Not worth mentioning, really, but too late!

The Gophers are off to San Diego for a tournament. Last time, as Gorf recalls, the ladies (with Berg) ended up losing to the Toreoreoes and 9/11 followed two days later. Yikes. I still remember how weird things were in the airport -- and this was before the 11th.

The youngest wants me to read to her. That's going to have to be it for now.

Rankings 9/6

2010-09-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

My take after two weeks. Penn State is probably too high, but we'll know after this weekend.

vagabond, the wife ran into Bobbi P in the women's room at the Pavilion this weekend. She didn't know what had happened. She does now. She was very, very sad to hear it. You'll be happy to hear that the Prepared to Pounce Panthers knocked off our Gophers again.

I may expound on these rankings later today or tomorrow. Thrilled?

1 Illinois 5-0
2 Stanford 5-0
3 Florida 5-0
4 Nebraska 5-1
5 Penn State 6-0
6 USC 6-0
7 Hawaii 5-1
8 Texas 5-1
9 Washington 5-0
10 Minnesota 5-1
11 California 4-0
12 Iowa State 5-1
13 Colorado State 5-1
14 Dayton 5-1
15 Northern Iowa 5-1
16 Arizona 5-1
17 Ohio State 5-1
18 Oregon 4-0
19 Tennessee 6-0
21 Florida State 5-1
22 UCLA 5-1
23 LBSU 5-1
24 Michigan 5-1
25 Kentucky 4-2
25 San Diego 2-3
26 LSU 6-0
27 Missouri 6-0
28 Oklahoma 4-3
29 St. Mary's 5-2
30 Cincinnati 6-1
HM Kansas 7-0
HM Louisville 4-2

Another day with DIII

2010-08-30T21:10:00.000-07:00

My eyes feel like they're about to pop out of my head. I hate to complain, especially considering the fact I am alive and you are not, but then I don't really know what sort of setup you two have wherever you are. It could be really swell. Better than Applebee's even.

Anyhow, I thought you'd both enjoy this. I did, while I entered DIII schedules.

Dead Skunk -- Loudon Wainwright III

The first weekend's over

2010-08-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

Hawaii is still playing UCLA, last I checked. It's nice that UCLA flies out there every August to play the role of the Washington Generals.

I have spent a good part of this weekend entering DIII schedules for Rich Kern's site. Some schools don't really seem to have their heart in the information business. They don't just list "Volleyball Match against some school" on their schedules, but it comes close.

Did you know the St. Louis College of Pharmacy fields a team?

The big news today is that Florida took down the Huskers in Omaha. They were up 2-0 and had several match points in g3, but let it slip away. The Huskers thumped them good in g4 and were up 11-7 (I think) in g5, but the Gators came back to win. It hardly makes up for the 3-2 losses to the Huskers that the Gophers have endured over the years, but Dave Boos at least was able to experience what it's like to be on the winning side of one of them.

Can't say there were a lot of other surprises this weekend, except for the St. Louis College of Pharmacy beating Stanford. That was odd. (Drugs are suspected.)

For Vagabond and Gorf

2010-08-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

So I'm dedicating this season's blogging to my departed friends. I will be directing my comments to them. Now I don't mind if anyone else reads these blogs, but I'm stating up front that if you take offense to anything posted here, bring it up with someone else, because, hey, you're eavesdropping.

And away we go ...

Guys, it's the first weekend of volleyball, and, more specifically, Golden Gopher volleyball. I don't know if either of you is paying attention or even can pay attention, but what the heck. More about that later, probably.

The young women looked very good in the two matches I saw. (I skipped the Stonybrook match. It was 90-something (which makes it 150 in the Pavilion), the State Fair's going on (which makes travel a problem), and two of the three daughters had other plans, leaving me with the third.) I have deliberately dialed back my expectations this year, or maybe it's just because the two of you aren't here and that dampens my enthusiasm, but there's something different about this team. Remember all those seasons where the Gophs talked such a great game about new-found confidence (which departed with the first loss)? These athletes seem naturally confident. It starts with Gibbemeyer and Cowles (more on Hailey later), but Dixon and Wittman are not ordinary freshmen. They know they are good.

That said, it still remains to be seen what happens when they run into this year's version of the 2001 UNI, a team that takes their best shot and comes back at them, a team that digs a ball or twenty.

They haven't, it appears, decided on a setter. Tabberson and Nucci seem to share the same strengths and weaknesses. What I don't know yet is whether one or both of them is a competitor. I suspect Mia is, but we'll see. In the mean time, their first competition appears to be for the starting position. If one of them shows an ability to dig a ball or two, then that could decide things. Or block. Nucci set the win over Marquette, by far the toughest of the three matches.

Wittman hit close to .500 for the weekend and Dixon may have pushed .600. I feel bad for Harms (more on her later too), but she needs to hang in there and wait her chance.

The offense seems to be high outside and backrow, with the occasional 3-1 and slide mixed in -- plus the backset to Dixon. It works, so I'm not complaining, but Gibby and Filho will need to be in the mix against the better teams.

Passing, passing, passing. Who knows?

That's enough for now. I don't want to bore you.

I miss you both.

Vagabond/Journeylad

2010-04-04T08:35:00.001-07:00

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/startribune/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=141486284

If I Could Save Time in a Bottle

2009-12-29T11:33:00.000-08:00

I bet that it'd be harder than ketchup to get out of there.

Speaking of time, not necessarily in a bottle, it turns out I haven't blogged since the end of November, which means I missed out on the entire NCAAs-thing and probably some other stuff that I've already forgotten. Now it's almost 2010 and I'm not in the mood for a "Best of" list, or any damned resolutions, or even something blatantly libelous. Actually, come to think of it, something blatantly libelous would be kinda fun.

But first:

***

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

***

Hmmm. I had planned on having some fun with this lyric, but Jim's dead, which lends the danged thing just enough poignancy that my heart just isn't in it. Reminds me of 1970-something. I'm working for the YMCA's Rent-A-Kid program and some family has optimistically set me up scraping the paint off their storm windows. I last a day, maybe two, before they tell me "Maybe this just isn't for you." Jim was singing on the radio while I was failing miserably, there on that family's screen porch, the poorest excuse for a handykid the world would ever know. Who knew that I was in the middle of a metaphor for my life? Not I. I thought I was earning enough money to buy some golf balls or something.

Should have gone with "Junkyard Dog".

Happy 2010.

Three things

2009-11-22T20:09:00.000-08:00

Here are three things from my week of volleyball, stuff that nudged its way into my consciousness. I won't pretend that they are profound, or even worth the time you will spend reading them, but I'm humble that way. They probably are profound and worth your time. I'll leave that to future generations to determine, the ones who will be writing all about me and lamenting about how poorly you all treated me.

*Conference tournaments are inherently stupid in their own right, but when the #1 seed is not rewarded with the home court advantage, they are downright criminal.

*TV networks should do everything in their power to insure they are not placing their main camera behind the up ref. When they do this, it just shows remarkable incompetence -- or proof that they don't give a fig about what they are televising, probably the more likely reason.

*Mary Slinger is terrific. Maggie Mac is too, but everyone knows that.

What I've learned (so far this week)

2009-11-04T15:06:00.000-08:00

The Pac 10 uses five different brands of volleyballs. I learned this from Karch and Paul during the Oregon-Oregon State match, and I subsequently asked Volley Talk if it were true. Apparently it is. Money, of course, is behind it all.

Mikasa and Spalding, however, are not in on this action.

That's it. I knew everything else.

Best wishes to TheSantaBarbarian.

My top 30 (again) + a few more (again)

2009-11-01T18:41:00.000-08:00

Not proud of this list, but here it is.

1--Penn State 24-0
2--Texas 18-0
3--Washington 19-2
4--Iowa State 19-3
5--Hawaii 20-2
6--Illinois 18-3
7--UCLA 18-6
8--Nebraska 16-6
9--Stanford 15-6
10--Oregon 15-5
11--Kentucky 22-2
12--California 13-8
13--Minnesota 17-7
14--Michigan 19-6
15--Florida 18-3
16--USC 15-8
17--Florida State 21-2
18--Arizona 16-6
19--LSU 18-5
20--Baylor 19-5
21--Texas A&M 14-6
22--Washington State 16-6
23--St. Mary's 16-4
24--Notre Dame 16-4
25--UCSB 18-5
26--Ohio State 18-7
27--Northern Iowa 22-2
28--St. Louis 17-6
29--Colorado State 18-4
30--LBSU 14-6

HM--Dayton 21-3; Florida International 24-2; Ohio 19-5; Oklahoma 15-7; San Diego 15-5; Tennessee 17-6; UC Irvine 17-6

It's almost Friday

2009-10-29T15:24:00.000-07:00

You may be wondering where I've been, maybe not. You may be thinking the Brook Dieter news has sent me scurrying for my bunker, maybe not. You may be listening to Barry Manilow and downing one peach daquiri after another -- and I'm guessing that's probably the most likely scenario.

I admit I haven't much felt like blogging. One likes to think everyone is happy as clams on the team one follows and when one finds out there's some lobstery activities going on, why it can be irksome. So, yes, I've been irked some.

But what can you do? You suffer those slings and arrows or you choose another sport, hoping that outrageous fortune hasn't discovered cross country yet.

Anyhow. Things are bound to get better, right? After all, it's Penn State in Happy Valley tomorrow night. How bad could that be?

My top 30 + a few more

2009-10-18T19:45:00.000-07:00

I've changed my mind about a few things over the last couple of weeks and have just submitted the following to RichKern.com. Also of little interest to most everyone, this afternoon I went to see "A Serious Man", watched the last 10 minutes or so of the Vikings near-collapse, put together an IKEA table/puzzle for my mother, and then watched the first installment of the Monty Python documentary on IFC this evening.

Send your complaints to Ron.

1 Penn State (20-0)
2 Texas (14-0)
3 Washington (17-1) -- Huskies are looking more and more vulnerable as the weeks go by.
4 Hawaii (16-2) -- we won't know enough about this team until the NCAAs, as usual.
5 Iowa State (15-3) -- huge test v. the Huskers this week.
6 Illinois (14-3) -- inconsistency is still a problem, but they now have wins over both Minnesota and Michigan.
7 Oregon (14-3)
8 Stanford (12-5)
9 Nebraska (14-4) -- Werth hitting her stride and the Huskers may be hitting theirs.
10 Minnesota (15-5) -- still have to prove they can beat a top 10 team. Iowa State is it, so far.
11 Michigan (17-4) -- first match with Minnesota this weekend, at Williams Arena.
12 UCLA (14-6)
13 Kentucky (19-1)
14 California (10-7) -- biggest disappointment of the season, so far, for me.
15 Florida (14-3) -- unless it's the Gators instead.
16 Arizona (15-3)
17 Florida State (17-2)
18 USC (13-6) -- shouldn't this team be better than they are?
19 Texas A&M (13-4) -- big wins over Nebraska and Baylor.
20 LSU (15-4)
21 Baylor (17-4) -- sliding a bit. They need to dig in.
22 St. Mary's (12-4) -- loss to San Diego means the WCC doesn't have a power this year?
23 UCI (16-3)
24 LBSU (12-5)
25 Washington State (15-4) -- has to be THE surprise team of the year.
26 UCSB (14-5) -- up and down.
27 Colorado State (16-3) -- may be much better than this, but MWC still looks down for 2009.
28 San Diego (12-4)
29 Notre Dame (13-4) -- another team that may be better than this ranking.
30 St. Louis (13-6) -- tough loss to Dayton.
HM Dayton (18-2)
HM Florida International (19-2)
HM Ohio (16-4)
HM UNI (18-2)

Tough weekend?

2009-10-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

Hey, boys and girls! I have an idea! Let's tot up the Top 25's upsets this past weekend:

#5 Florida loses 2-3 to Kentucky
#6 Michigan loses 2-3 to #12 Illinois
#7 Oregon loses 2-3 to unranked Oregon State
#9 California loses to 2-3 to #13 USC and 1-3 to #16 UCLA
#12 Illinois loses 2-3 to #23 Michigan State
#13 USC loses 0-3 to #11 Stanford*
#16 UCLA loses 1-3 to #11 Stanford*
#17 Florida State loses 2-3 to Georgia Tech
#18 Arizona loses 0-3 to unranked Washington State
#20 San Diego loses 0-3 to unranked Pepperdine
#25 Wichita State loses 1-3 to unranked Creighton

Special mention to UCSB, unfairly just outside the top 25 last week, who lost 0-3 to unranked Cal State Fullerton; and Purdue who lost 2-3 to unranked Indiana.

Add to these matches several close calls -- Nebraska 3-2 over unranked Oklahoma, Kentucky 3-2 over unranked South Carolina, San Diego 3-2 over unranked LMU and Florida State 3-2 over unranked Clemson. In short, it could have been worse. Or better, depending on your viewpoint.

Do I have a point? No. Just saying.

*Technically not upsets, but USC and UCLA were at home, so we're calling them that.

The rest of the story

2009-09-27T15:48:00.000-07:00

Purdue does not go up on Michigan 2-0. They not only lose that game, they also lose the match 3-2.

No other near upsets this Sunday, although Washington State does give Oregon a good match.

I will post my Top 30 when I have it done. Still some tricky stuff this week.

If you were an AVCA voter ...

2009-09-27T08:44:00.000-07:00

It's never too early to start this discussion. What's tomorrow's poll going to look like and why will it offend us all deeply?

But, first of all, a few disclaimers. Yes, I know it doesn't really matter -- except, of course, in terms of how programs are perceived by the volleyball community and, more to the point, by prospective recruits. (In other words, yes, it does matter.) No, I don't claim to know more about the sport than the coaches doing the actual voting (but I may put more thought into it than some of them). No, I don't claim to have seen more than a few of these teams play (but who has?). Yes, I have my own personal biases, some formed from a lifetime of perceived slights, actual slights, and petty jealousies. And, yes, the girls who treated me so badly in junior high school factor in this somehow! You know who you are!

OK? OK.

1 - Penn State. Last week, the Lions collected 50 of the 60 first place votes. I've been voting them #2 in Ron Kern's poll and Pablo has them at #6, probably due to that DIII schedule they've been playing. (Do I need to explain what Pablo is again? I think not.) But they absolutely destroyed Illinois in Champaign last night, and Pablo (sadist that he is) will love that. I may have to rethink my vote, too. Regardless, the AVCA folks will keep them at #1.

2 - Texas. Big win for the Horns in Lincoln, a real barrel of monkeys off their backs. This has been my #3 team and Pablo puts them at #2. Probably no changes here, although they may lose some of their 7 first place votes from the coaches, depending on what impressed them more, PSU's win at Illinois or this bit of monkey removal.

3 - Washington. I am starting this blog Sunday morning, so the Huskies still have Oregon State to play, but I'm going to assume (for now) they win. This has been my #1 team since the preseason poll and Pablo agrees with me. They handled Oregon fairly easy, one game of the sweep decided by two points, and the Ducks are a Pablo fave. Still, as I mentioned above, PSU is starting to sew some doubts in my all too fertile mind. I will probably stick to my guns, bucking the AVCA contingent who will keep them at #3.

4 - Hawaii. The Wahine, as always, are hard to peg. The UCLA win looks much less special now, but they did sweep Stanford and also pushed Cal to 5 after falling behind 0-2. Pablo picks them for #7. The WAC schedule won't tell us a lot, unless they should stumble. What to do? What to do? One thing you cannot do is move them higher than #4, even if one of the top 3 is upset. That just would not be right. I have them at #4, as does the AVCA. They will stay there. But this is not a confident placement from me.

5 - Florida. Alabama match is still to be played, but I don't see any change here. Pablo sees some weakness (as do I, based on the UW and FSU matches) and can only give them #11. I had them behind Iowa State last week and they've done nothing this week to warrant a move up, my doubts about ISU at #5 notwithstanding. I still think there is a huge upside to this team and they could be really dangerous. But that's what I thought last year, too.

So, #1-5 will not change, barring today's results. Here's where things get really interesting and also where I regret re-upping for the Kern poll, let alone starting this particular blog.

6 - Nebraska. Not the best week ever in Huskerville, a team I had at #9 last week. First, there's the hassle of having to play at College Station on Wednesday against an underrated Texas A&M team, in spite of the fact Texas is coming to Lincoln on Saturday. Then, they go and lose to that underrated TAMU team, which really does not help them focus on the enormous task at hand, and the Horns show them little mercy, winning at the Coliseum for the first time since 1988. (I read that on Volley Talk. This has not been fact-checked.) What to think about the Huskers? So many teams are affected. Michigan's win does not look as impressive, Minnesota's loss looks less forgiveable, UCLA's win also is tainted a bit. What we do know is that Nebraska will drop. But how far? Read on, but I predict #11.

7 - Oregon. The Quack Pack, depending on whether Washington State cooperates (and loses for the first time in 2009), stands to move up to #6 (replacing Nebraska) even though they were swept on Friday by the Huskies. It's possible, should Michigan beat Purdue today, that the Wolverines could slide past them, since they were only 55 points back in last week's poll, but this would overlook that Michigan loss to Oregon State, something that really needs to be front and center in the discussion. I had Oregon at #7 last week and will be moving them up to #6 as ISU falls back.

8 - Michigan. I don't know why the Wolverines were only dropped two spots last week after losing to an unranked team, but I suspect it's because the voters had a hard time dropping them further while giving Nebraska the #6 spot. If there was some sort of hand-in-hand adjustment this week, with Nebraska bound to fall, Michigan would fall with them, but this won't happen. Purdue, of course, could be the correcting factor this afternoon, but if the Wolvies win, the AVCA moves them up to #7. I had them at #12, so I am not as boxed in. (But I have other problems, as you shall see.)

9 - Minnesota. The team I watch the most finally came home for a pair of matches, both sweeps, over the toothless Badgers and the wingless Hawkeyes. OK, that latter description is overly harsh. I had the Gophers at #8 last week and ISU's loss to Baylor means they probably rise to #7. The AVCA has an open spot, too, due to Nebraska's loss to TAMU, so the Gophers probably end up at #8.

10 - Stanford. My guess is that Cal (3-2 winners over the Cardinal at home) move to #9 and Stanford remains #10, with Nebraska ending up in the #11 spot. This seems reasonable and therefore probably won't happen.

11 - Iowa State. What to do with the Cyclones? The AVCA voters didn't have them at #5 last week, as yours truly did, so they don't have that stall to muck, but they still have to do something. Since I had Baylor at #17 (as opposed to their #24 ranking), they still have some explaining to do. Complicating matters are the less than stellar results from Arizona for #13 USC and #14 UCLA, #15 Illinois's flop against PSU and #16 Michigan State making all those AVCA voters look silly. Sillier. Who does that leave them with for #12? Kentucky? Florida State? Pablo has FSU at #5. I'm guessing ISU only falls one spot and they reward Baylor. That's what I'd do if I had Baylor has underranked as they do.

12 - California. Up to #9. I already had them at #10, so they won't jump as far for me. Good team, getting better. I originally had them at #4 to start the season.

13 - USC. Arizona loss offset slightly by ASU win. Good news for the Trojans is that there's no one banging on the door behind them. Although I'd make a case for Baylor, I doubt the AVCA folks will pop them this high.

14 - UCLA. ASU loss offset slightly by Arizona win. Good news for the Bruins is that there's no one banging on the door behind them. Although I'd make a case for Baylor, I doubt the AVCA folks will pop them this high.

15 - Illinois. PSU loss offset slightly by the fact it was Penn State. Good news for the Illini is that there's no one banging on the door behind them and that PSU is PSU. Although I'd make a case for Baylor, I doubt the AVCA folks will pop them this high. I had Illinois at #11 last week and I'll be watching the Purdue-Michigan result closely.

16 - Michigan State. Say goodbye to the Top 25 for 2009, I'm afraid. Way overrated, but could still put together a decent season. Indiana loss, however, did not help.

17 - Kentucky. Up to #16? I'm thinking AVCA puts Baylor at #16.

18 - Florida State. Pablo ranking of #5.

19 - Arizona. Big win over USC and then that darned loss to UCLA. Treading water?

20 - Wichita State. Loss to Missouri State will probably knock the Shockers out of the Top 25, perhaps replaced by Northern Iowa, keeping the MVC in the poll?

21 - UC Irvine. Gauchos push Anteaters to the cusp. Room needs to be made for UCSB.

22 - San Diego. An uneventful week, with only the sweep of San Diego State.

23 - Saint Louis. Also an uneventful week.

24 - Baylor. Seriously underrated and in need of a big jump up. This will finally happen this week. Pablo has them at #4. I had them at #17.

25 - Long Beach State. Nice win over Fullerton, solidifying their spot in the Top 25.

Conspicuously missing? TAMU, Purdue, UCSB. Notre Dame? WSU?

I'm going to go ahead and post this, but I'll tweak things after the Sunday matches. Purdue, for instance, is about to go up 2-0 on Michigan.

Great blog idea

2009-09-26T20:04:00.000-07:00

The news is playing in the background, which is a little distracting. Something about someone kicking a blind woman's dog. She was arrested after someone alerted the owner and the building security looked at the surveillance footage. Then something about a 16-year-old girl faking her own kidnapping to extort $500 from her family.

I've decided to stop listening.

The great idea for a blog? Top ten TV cliches from volleyball telecasts! Who cares that I haven't really thought this one through? I'm going for it!

Let's see. We'll put them in order later.

*The aces to error ratio for serving, part of that whole end-of-the-world attitude toward service errors. No one ever mentions that you have to break some eggs to make the hen cry. Is that the right saying?

*There's also that whole "seven times you can never miss" blather about serving. Who owns that again? Pink slip her! Like telling someone they can never miss is ever going to be helpful.

*Someone on VolleyTalk mentioned this one, but I'll use it anyhow: "hitting efficiency is like a batting average" or comparable to it. No it's not. When's the last time someone batted .500?Stop.

*Rotation/overlaps and the libero overhand set prohibition are impossible to explain, so we won't try. No they aren't. Do some prep.

*Volleyball in the Pac Ten is so superior to every other conference's volleyball that we're not sure why they even play it elsewhere. Shut up. Just shut up.

*She needs to drop that hand into the cross court angle blah blah blah. Blocking is sooooo easy.

This isn't working. I should really do some prep myself. In the mean time, I need to go crack some eggs. That hen looks waaaaaaaaaaay too happy.

You say it's your birthday?

2009-09-21T11:59:00.000-07:00

Well, happy birthday to you!

For those of you who do not know, Ron Kern turns 83 today. For those of you who don't know who Ron Kern is, well, first of all, shame on you! Second, he's the old guy over at richkern.com who runs the Rich Kern Show. You can't miss him. He's the guy on the porch in his longjohns, the one toting the shotgun.

People often ask me how I know Ron, usually just before they ask me to lend them a ten-spot. I've stopped telling them the truth -- about the bank heists, the cell in Leavenworth, the needlepoint, etc. -- and now give them a poem I wrote for him back in 1962, a poem I am not about to share with you here. What I will tell you is that there are few people in this world for which I would be willing to stand up and fight, and Ron probably isn't one of them. But that says more about me than it does about him. I just don't like getting hit. Sue me.

What was I talking about? Ron's birthday, right. I never forget this event, coming as it does just before the autumnal equinox. I know if the sun's setting pretty much due west that Ron's just about completed another trip around the sun. And that's cool. It's like he has his own celestial milestone.

So happy birthday, Mr. Kern. You want more than that, haul out that poem.

Luke takes a look

2009-09-13T17:15:00.000-07:00

First of all, me in my heyday. I'm the good-looking one, on the left.

So where's (R)uffda!? Apparently, he's been traumatized by this morning's viewing of Inglorious Basterds and is upstairs in the bathtub, cowering with his rubbie-duckie.

That means it's time for good old Luke to take his turn at blogging this sucker and I, if I say so myself, have a great idea. What say we take a look at (R)uffda!'s pre-season rankings and see just how well El Grande Bozo is doing?

Forgotten his picks? Of course you have! Well, here they are (were):

1--Washington [Have to hand it to him for this one. Plus he picked the dogs.]

2--Penn State [Duh.]

3--Texas [Duh deux.]

4--California [Oopsie! Looks like the genius needs a map for that clue of his.]

5--Florida [Iffy.]

6--Nebraska [Too high, but credit for not making them the easy #4 pick.]

7--Minnesota [Jury is still out, but this one still looks OK, even if you think it's a homer-pick.]

8--Illinois [Would look good if not for that loss to FSU. But (R)uffda! would look good if not for that face.]

9--Stanford [Credit here, too. Who would have thought they should have been even lower?]

10--Hawaii [Too low, but not embarrassingly low.]

11--Iowa State [OK.]

12--UCLA [Hmmm. The guy has it in for the Bruins, true, but this one is only a little too low, so far.]

13--USC [Good. Trojans done in by Spartans. Go figure.]

14--San Diego [Another miss, thanks to the two Gaucho wranglings. But the Tor-whatevers could still make it back up here.]

15--Utah [Major error, one matched by the AVCA's preseason #17. But there's more Mountain West blunders to come.]

16--Oregon [Team should have been up there with UCLA, USC, Stanford and Cal. 12ish?]

17--Kentucky [Good call, (R) old boy.]

18--Michigan [Understandable. Wolverines' season, so far, is still pretty much the Nebraska win. But too low, by the results.]

19--Long Beach State [His faith in the Beach has once again proven to be misplaced. When will he ever learn? When will he e-ver lah-ern?]

20--Wichita State [Fair enough.]

21--St. Louis [Jury also on vacation about this team. Tough schedule, but bad loss to Cincinnati.]

22--Colorado State [The other Mountain West blunder, although they are playing better and now look like the best of the MWC.]

23--Purdue [Too high. Could improve.]

24--Baylor [Another nice one. Maybe.]

25--Arizona [And another one.]

26--UCI [Three in a row!!]

27--Pepperdine [Done in by the Army Blanket. Bummer.]

28--St. Mary's [OK.]

29--Texas A&M [OK.]

30--Cal Poly [Really, really bad call here.]

HM--Kansas State [Good spot, too high if anything.]

HM--Santa Clara [OK.]

Missing? Dayton, FSU and LSU. UNI and MSU (maybe, but probably not, for both). Notre Dame?

All in all? This dog has some bark to him. So far. I wish I could say otherwise, because now it just looks like he's used a nom de blog to pat himself on the back.

But if that's the case, only a real egomaniac would go ahead and post it, so I can't be he? Now can I?

Entering schedules for Ron

2009-08-30T17:46:00.000-07:00

Good times this past week. I've been inputting DII schedules (Heartland, Lonestar and MAIC conferences) for the Kern site and now there are DIII schedules to be done. I hope I didn't screw up Texas Vinyl Flooring's schedule; it was a little confusing.

The in-laws sold their house (on the market for one day), so there's also been some heavy lifting. Literal heavy lifting, mind you, which is my least favorite kind of heavy lifting. Somehow, in the middle of the Nebraska-Minnesota match last night, a huge black metal file cabinet appeared in the back of a trailer in our alley. I missed most of game 3 wrestling with it (no big loss there given how awful game 3 was) and it then spent the night in our backyard. Today, every time I look out the kitchen window, I am startled by its presence, something right out of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Why am I bringing this up? Because I have a creaky neck from staring at the monitor, sore biceps from where the damned cabinet (now on our back porch) dug into them, and a huge letdown from the quality of play at the AVCA tournament.

I'm in a foul mood. Beware of blog(ger).

The problem with foot faults

2009-08-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

Well, it's obvious, isn't it? It is not the foot's fault. It's the person attached to the foot's fault.

Which brings up net faults. Has the net done something wrong? Of course not. "Oh, excuse me for getting in the way of your fingers!" Like blaming the toaster for zapping you when you stick a fork into it to dislodge that damned bagel. (Do not try this, by the way. I know it's tempting, but trust me.)

And what's with all the blame in volleyball anyhow? Rotation faults, service errors, blocking errors, attack errors, passing errors, illegal attacks ... the list goes on and on. There's too much fingerpointing, metaphorically, and whistle-blowing, literally. How's a player supposed to feel good about herself?

The problem with ball carts

2009-08-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

The balls at the bottom require stooping for retrieval. Who wants to stoop? You could get the shallow ball cart, but they don't hold as many.

Has anyone invented a ball cart that has an interior under tension? You put ten balls in, it sags to allow another ten. You take ten balls out, it pushes the first ten toward the top? It's tricky, I know. Volleyballs don't weigh much. But there are smart people out there!

Or maybe a foot pedal mechanism?

It's a gold mine, I tell you. Build a better ball cart and the world will beat a path to your doorstep. (Of course, if you already have a sidewalk, that could be annoying.)

The problem with intersquad scrimmages

2009-08-23T15:14:00.000-07:00

Not the place for the glass half empty, crud floating in that half-filled glass, guy. For every kill, you can lament the fact it was not blocked or dug; every block or dig, you can rag on the poor attack. Every pass is the result of an ineffective serve; every ace the consequence of poor passing.

It's like playing yourself in chess. One man's checkmate is another man's ... well, checkmate.

I am against projecting too much about a season's potential from an intersquad scrimmage or scrimmages. I am also against playing solitaire chess. I also don't like liver (just as long as we're setting the record straight).

Pre-season ranking

2009-08-15T10:41:00.000-07:00

Read it and weep. Or just weep. I'm not picky.

1 Washington
2 Penn State
3 Texas
4 California
5 Florida
6 Nebraska
7 Minnesota
8 Illinois
9 Stanford
10 Hawaii
11 Iowa State
12 UCLA
13 USC
14 San Diego
15 Utah
16 Oregon
17 Kentucky
18 Michigan
19 Long Beach State
20 Wichita State
21 St. Louis
22 Colorado State
23 Purdue
24 Baylor
25 Arizona
26 UCI
27 Pepperdine
28 St. Mary's
29 Texas A&M
30 Cal Poly
HM Kansas State
HM Santa Clara

OK, just about there

2009-08-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'd worry that I was boring my readers if I actually thought I had any readers, but since I do not suffer from that delusion, I soldier on.

Since I last posted, three "Bigs" have published their pre-season picks, although one of them has inexplicably misplaced 5 of its schools. I am sure they will be found in time for the season, but it is still awfully careless.

Anyhow, the Big 12 has picked Texas, Nebraska and Iowa State as its top 3 teams, followed by Texas A&M, Baylor and Kansas State. I am slightly surprised that TAMU is ahead of Baylor and a little more surprised that KSU has fallen so far out of favor, but they did lose a large chunk of their team (if I may use the term "chunk" without offending). Missouri at #8 is another eye-opener. Maybe.

The Big 10 has Penn State (of course), Minnesota, Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin and Purdue as their top 6, with only the Badgers spot bucking conventional wisdom, if there is actually any conventional wisdom in this field. The other 5 schools are a mystery, but we presume they are practicing, working hard, and will field teams this fall, even if the conference has forgotten all about them.

The Big East, all 15 of 'em, will be led by Louisville, Notre Dame, Cincinnati, South Florida, St. John's and Marquette, or so say the coaches. Is it just me or has the Big East become a little too big? Quiet! I know I have become a little too big. That's not what I meant, wiseass(es).

So do these three polls persuade me to rearrange my own rankings, the one on which I have been so diligently working? I think so. I'm going to drop Kansas State to an Honorable Mention status and elevate the Aggies into the top 30. I will also put Wisconsin back on the radar, although not quite blipping as an HM. Purdue might slide a spot or two, but I'm keeping them above the Badgers. So there.

I have a feeling I won't be seeing anything from the ACC or the SEC this weekend. I'll just have to rely on my own judgment, something that has invariably let me down in the past. Oh, well. I am sure the world will keep spinning.

Meanwhile, time to read more about Nebraska's "fast offense." Nothing excites the VolleyTalkers more than speculation about programs willing to put the pedal to the metal.

This just in

2009-08-10T19:14:00.000-07:00

The West Coast Conference picks:

1 -- San Diego
2 -- Pepperdine
3 -- St. Marys
4 -- Santa Clara

This was exactly how I picked them! I know I'm impressed.

Correction: Turns out I actually had ranked St. Marys ahead of Pepperdine. I am less impressed with myself now (not that I was ever really all that impressed).

Volleyball magazine has also released their top 20 poll, probably in their "Girls of the Pac Ten" issue:

1. Penn State
2. Texas
3. Nebraska
4. Washington
5. Stanford
6. Cal
7. Hawai‘i
8. Minnesota
9. Florida
10. UCLA
11. Iowa State
12. USC
13. Illinois
14. Oregon
15. Michigan
16. San Diego
17. (tied) Wichita State
17. (tied) Saint Louis
19. Utah
20. Santa Clara

Others Receiving Votes: Purdue, Pepperdine, Cal Poly, Kansas State, Kentucky, Long Beach State, Wisconsin, Colorado State, Louisville, Texas A&M, Duke

Finally: I must give serious consideration to UCI over Cal Poly in the Top 30 or ignore the coaches' input. What to do?

The Lincoln Blogs

2009-08-08T14:10:00.000-07:00

Someone once asked Abe Lincoln how long his legs were and he famously replied, “Long enough to touch the floor.” What a wiseass.

I wonder if he ended up with really poorly fitting pants. I hope so. I hope his calves were showing. Jerk.

Not that I would wish his ultimate fate on any man. Who wants to go to the theater and get shot in the head? One or the other maybe, but not both.

But if it has to be both, I suppose it really does need to be in that order. Who wants to go to the theater after being shot in the head? I mean, it’d have to be a really good show, right?

What’s this have to with volleyball, you ask? Well, I’ll be coming to that, eventually.

Lincoln. They put the guy on the penny! Man, talk about disrespect. Better to not have a coin at all than to be on the penny. But that’s what you get when you’re a wiseass.

I can see the guy in a restaurant.

“What can I getcha, Abe?”

“Depends on if you have a wagon or not.”

“Pardon?”

“You could get me a lot of stuff, if you had a wagon.”

Jerk.

What’s this have to do with volleyball, you ask again? Oh, you’ll see.

Kind of an ugly guy, that Lincoln. But people were uglier back then. Shorter, too, although Lincoln was supposedly eight-foot-three. Maybe I don’t have that exactly right, but I do recall that he was seen as a real freak in his day. Ugly and tall. And ruder than an old cuss with a boil on his butt.

How’d he get elected one might wonder. Well, no TV. Really good attack ads in the papers. Plus his opponent – Dewey, I think – was a squirrel.

“Who ya voting for?”

“Think I’m going to vote for the ugly giant with the bad-fitting pants.”

“But he’s so RUDE!”

“True. But I just can’t see voting for a squirrel.”

(That was another conversation from the diner, by the way. Case you were wondering.)

So, what does this have to do with volleyball!? Dammit!

You settle for things in Life. Sometimes rally-score – to 25! – is better than the alternative. Sometimes you just can't bring yourself to vote for the squirrel. Sometimes, although this is rare, one can even have a pleasant time at the theater. You don’t want to have to sit through Cats or be shot in the head, of course, but you might just find yourself entertained.

That’s what I’m hoping for this season – a little entertainment, no assassins.

The thirty teams (probably)

2009-08-06T19:34:00.000-07:00

The WAC and the MWC have shared their findings. I had hoped for more, but I will blog rather than pursue the latest topic over at VolleyTalk – the absence of sex in Harry Potter World. Hmmm. That does sound interesting.

The news from the WAC – Hawaii picked to win it all! – is not much help. NMSU was picked to finish second, but I’m tempted to write that off as leftovers from seasons past. I really don’t think they have what they need coming back to crack the top 30, but I will keep an eye on them. The conference probably only has the one top 30 team this year, but it will be interesting to see who joins the battle for second – and how good that team is.

Utah is the pick in the MWC, collecting twice as many first place votes as #2 CSU. New Mexico edges out BYU for #3. Interesting. I’m still looking at two in the top 30.

Here’s what I have as of this evening, still subject to fine-tuning:

1-12 -- same as before.
13 – USC. Been warned away from them, but I think there’s too much talent and Mick’s too good of a coach for them to be as disappointing as they were in 2008. Let's hope I'm wrong.
14 – San Diego. Everyone is back, as far as I can tell. Possible problem is that they weren’t that good in 2008. Certainly not as good as I thought they’d be. So. This could be way too high for the Toreoreos.
15 – Utah. Seems right to me. And bravo! for surviving the Salvo/Anderson smackdown.
16 – Oregon. Someone I trust says they have weapons to replace Maricic and that the ball control will still be there. Still, I couldn't put them above the Trojans.
17 – Kentucky. A daring pick, I think. Almost everyone back, good talent, a decent 2008 showing.
18 – Michigan. I’m giving them the edge for #4 in the Big Ten, at least to start the season. Purdue could easily be flopped into this position and the Wolverines into Purdue’s.
19 – Long Beach State. I’ve been predicting the 49ers will return to the top 10-15 for a couple of seasons now. I’m being more cautious this year, but still going with top 20.
20 – Wichita State. I still have no idea how good the Shockers are, but they have everyone except Broussard back from 2008's Dangerfield squad.

21 – Purdue. Could be really good, but probably not right out of the terminal.
22 – St. Louis. Another team I wish I knew more about. Possible shortcomings in the middle, but otherwise a decent facsimile of the 2008 team, which was pretty good.
23 – CSU. Fornstrom loss is big, I think. They still have Nelson. Minnesota kid, dontchaknow?
24 – KSU. Could be way too high or way too low. They lost a lot of players and I'm guessing way too high. They have, however, been consistently top 20, so I'm probably wrong.
25 – Arizona. Underrated in 2008 and most everyone is back.
26 – Cal Poly. Another huge disappointment for me in 2008, but there's still talent there and more coming in.
27 – Baylor. Very possible that they are better than KSU. Everyone back and they have a good recruiting class. Big 12 dark horse.
28 – St. Marys. Why do I bother trying to evaluate the WCC? Past performance is indicative of future problems, bet your farm on it.
29 – Pepperdine. Ditto.
30 – Santa Clara. Ditto.

The one team I am really tempted to find room for? I thought I had one, but darned if I can find it now. I did consider Missouri, NMSU, Oregon State, Dayton and possibly a team from the ACC, but, not too seriously. Right now, I think I have my 30 teams.

Now then, about Harry Potter ...

Man at Work

2009-08-02T13:22:00.000-07:00

My project – building a 2009 pre-season ranking – has been put on hold. I have been waiting patiently for the various conferences to post their own pre-season predictions so I can lean a bit on the opinions of the coaches, but to date only the Big West and the Atlantic 10 have done so. Now, I could go ahead and continue to build in spite of the flimsy foundation, but I won’t. This is what I like to call Integrity of Purpose.

I have no idea what that means, but I like to call it that, just like I like to call my bathtub "The Shallow Abyss of Cleanliness".

I know there are literally one or two people out there who might care about this development and to them (or to him (or to her)) all I can say is GET OFF MY BACK!

Do you think the Italians, when they were building the Parthenon, took shortcuts, left out a column or two? Or that the Japanese, when they were constructing that Great Wall over there in China, kept right on going when they ran out of bricks? How about the Forty-Niners when they were building those pyramids out there in the deserts of Egypt? What would have happened if they didn't have any pointy blocks for the top? I suppose you think they would have just used a potted plant for that last bit? A sphinx maybe. Well, a sphinx would have been damned cool, but you see my point, pardon the pun. Don't you?

So here’s what we do know: The Big West coaches have picked Long Beach State, UCI and Cal Poly to finish one-two-three in their conference; and the Atlantic 10 coaches have picked St. Louis, Dayton and Xavier in theirs. That helps, but it’s not all that I need.

So we wait. Patiently, more or less.

I'm giving up discussing politics in Off-the-Net. I'm dedicating myself to pure entertainment. And unentertaining recipes.

Next stage completed

2009-07-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

Conference USA

Tulane appears to be losing 2/3 of their starters -- Linder, Radosevic, Rebrovic (their setter) and Wells, as well as Boatwright, Bernards and McGehee. That's what you call significant information.

Ditto for UAB, with Bozic, Dent, Domingos and Stefanov (their setter) moving on, as well as Vujovic. It will be interesting to see the coaches' pick for this conference title.

SunBelt

Florida International only loses Drumeva. Better yet, Rosa is still there.

Middle Tennessee only drops Asberry.

Big West

Cal Poly -- Atherstone, Houston and Waller. Nice class coming in.

LBSU -- Vargas and Verdin, plus Murray. Where are the recruits?

SEC

Kentucky only loses Nzenwa and could be the sleeper in the SEC.

Tennessee lost Clarke and Flynn, plus Loyd transferred. Two setters transferring in?

LSU -- Martinez and Washington, plus Skender

ACC

North Carolina -- Eskola, Jansma (setter) and Prussing

Clemson -- Abbott and Hepburn

Duke -- Carls and Norman, plus Wherry

Miami -- Ellis, plus Bomhack

FSU -- only Moon

Georgia Tech -- Kandell, Kellogg, Miller and Niekamp (setter). And Bond. Ouch.

Missouri Valley

Wichita State drops Broussard, plus Jakubov. Shockers could be looking at another stellar year?

Creighton -- Cvejdlik, Decker and Lebeda (setter)

Northern Iowa -- Sampson and Stelken, and Benson transferred to Wisconsin

Western Athletic

New Mexico State could be in a heap of hurt, with the departures of Gintant (setter), Simpson, Torres and Yon, plus Steinmetz transferred.

Big East

Cincinnati -- Elley, plus Peterson and Torok. Brandl and Nevelle transfers can't help, although recruiting class was ranked.

Louisville -- Kolesnikova, Matiasovska and Liu, and Tomko transferred

St. Johns -- Brooks, Chen, Kovaleva, Leszczynska (setter) and Yee. Another ouch.

Mid-American

Ohio -- Anderson and Dearmond, plus Maiden, Mangan and Mauck

Western Michigan -- only Vogl

Miami -- Schroeder, plus Wolfe

I'm ready to put together a preliminary top 30, and then I'll wait for the coaches' conference picks.

Less progress

2009-07-26T09:43:00.000-07:00

Nothing new as to #13 on down, but I have gone through some potential teams, checking on who they lost from 2008. Probably could use a second set of eyes, but all I have is a dead dog. Not much help there.

West Coast

San Diego loses Sutherland (not a starter)
Pepperdine lost Chamberlain and Rubenstein
St Mary's lost Barker, Groess and Parker (but only Groess was a starter?)
Santa Clara lost Lowe and O'Brien, plus reserve Clark, plus transfer Parker
San Francisco is hit hard: Babin, Carroll, Gambos and Webster, all starters, plus Bednarova and transfer Lowe

Big Ten

Purdue drops Lynch and Merlau, plus Miller, and Ullrich and Nichols transfer
Michigan loses Karpiak and Hance
Indiana loses Pierce and Short
Michigan State has Verdun transfer, McDaniel was a non-starter
Wisconsin loses Jeffers, Dykstra and Salow, plus Klingsporn tranfers

Pac Ten

USC brings the entire team back, minus Carico -- which explains the recruiting class (although Fuller is highly-regarded)
Oregon is smacked a bit -- Forristall, Maricic, Swoboda, plus Milosevic move on
Arizona loses Buringrud and Goodenough
Arizona State only drops Giordano (dark horse in Pac Ten?)
Oregon State is minus Evans and Rinderknecht (another dark horse?)

Big 12

Kansas State may be hurting, losing Farr, Jantsch, Korobkova and Liliom
Texas A&M loses Bryant and Donaldson, plus Phillips
Baylor only loses Elliot (dark horse in Big 12?)
Missouri has two transfers, Wilson and Johnson
Oklahoma loses Barnes and two transfers, Machen and Bess

Mountain West

Utah bids adieu to Baird and Haynie
Colorado State says aufwiedersehen to Fornstrom (their stellar setter!) and Strauss
New Mexico has an adios for Fairchild, Tripp and Kwasigroch
BYU waves arrivederci to Dyer and Porter, plus transfer Marquardt (not to mention Kylin Munoz)

Atlantic 10

St. Louis appears to only lose Christman. Kern has her listed as their only middle in 2008, not sure why. I tried checking the Billikens' stats, but their website does not seem to have a link to any. Also odd. So I'm left with no clear idea about how large a part of their squad Christman was. Will 2009 be the Nightmare After Christman?
Dayton drops at least three starters, Akerhielm (B), Bateman and Robbe, plus Norris

Has any of this research helped me? A little. Only 30 or so more teams to look at.

Progress

2009-07-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

I think I have my top 12 teams, not necessarily in this order, but not necessarily not in this order either.

#1 Washington (Swarbrick gone)
#2 Penn State (Fawcett, Harmotto, Holehouse)
#3 Texas (Paolini)
#4 California (Beck, Reilly, Solomon)
#5 Florida (Bowers)
#6 Nebraska (Larson, Gates, Schwartz)
#7 Minnesota (Roehrig, Hartmann, Schmidt, Vatterrodt)
#8 Stanford (Barboza, Akinradewo, Waller, Fisher)
#9 Illinois (Bazzetta, Turner)
#10 Hawaii (Hittle, Houston, Keefe, Thomas, Simmons (t))
#11 Iowa State (Bisenius, Malcom, Vos)
#12 UCLA (Spicer, Piggott (t))

Now, it gets difficult, although I believe USC, KSU, Purdue, Michigan probably, are all top 20. But I have work to do elsewhere.

2009 pre-season poll

2009-07-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

Holy crapoly! Ron Kern's pre-season poll is due out in a couple of weeks and I am still one of the pollsters. (We call ourselves "pollsters", as you can see. Dweebs may be more accurate, but we're not using that. End of discussion.) It's a lot of work, let me tell you, with very little appreciation in return. Ron appreciates it, of course, since the damned poll has his name on it, but that's about it.

Here's what I've gathered together so far, after a good three hours of unappreciated work:

1) My 2008 end-of-the-year ranking -- as good a place to start as any, if I say so myself.
2) Pablo's 2008 end-of-the-year ratings. Si!
3) Ron's final 2008 RKPI. Required, says Ron.
4) PrepVolleyball.com's 2009 recruit lists -- senior aces and top recruiting classes.

What I still need:

1) A refresher on the 2008 seniors (and 2009 transfers) -- damned if I remember anyone other than Larson, Barboza, Akinradewo, Fawcett and Harmotto. I bet there were more.
2) That AVCA preview deal they do every year, which gets more and more unreliable with each passing year. Half-assed comes to mind, if you pardon my Deutsch. It would not surprise me if they just skip it this year.
3) Pre-season conference rankings. Always nice to have to coaches' input.
4) A shot or ten of whiskey.

Excited to see the results? Me neither, but that's what I'm going to have for you. It'll be good for a blog or ten.

Oh! I remember something else. A list of surprises so far. Stuff I never knew or have forgotten already:

1) USC isn't in the top 30 recruiting classes and they are coming off of a 17-12 year. 2010's class looks fabulous, but what's 2009 going to be like for the Trojanettes? No Carico either.
2) The RKPI has those funky rankings for St. Louis (#8) and Tulane (#19). Shall I ignore them again?
3) Pablo has those funky ratings for UCLA (#8) and Florida (#22). Ditto?
4) The RKPI and Pablo really don't get along -- see Florida (#12 v. #22), Colorado State (#21 v. #49), Oregon (#7 v. #20), Iowa State (#31 v. #11), Michigan (#39 v. #14), New Mexico State (#33 v. #16), St. Louis (#8 v. #27), Arizona (#78 v. #23!), Texas A&M (#57 v. #13!), Ohio (#23 v. #49), Middle Tennessee (#24 v. #66), and Florida International (#25 v. #78!).
5) Top 10 recruiting classes include Purdue (#8), Cal Poly (#9) and Iowa State (#10). Nice to see some rising programs getting even better.

More to come ...

The off-season update concluded

2009-06-18T14:53:00.000-07:00

I slogged through the rest of early 2009 posts and this is what I have for you:

Destinee Hooker's getting married (maybe the happy nuptials have already taken place). OverandUnder lost patience with the ensuing puns. It happens. I myself have occasionally opened Pundora's Box, with results of which I am not the least proud.

Nikki Allen fainted on Amazing Race. Nice to see a volleyball player representing the sport with distinction on national TV. I’m afraid I only watched bits and pieces of the season, and all of it after this episode. Was she also the contestant who came close to a nervous breakdown in the pool, or was that her partner?

Salima Rockwell has jumped ship, leaving the luxury liner at Penn State for the ... well, the luxury liner at Texas. Salima, then Davidson, was setting at Penn State when I first started to closely follow the college game. This fact is neither here nor there, but it is a fact. I wonder if she’s invited to Destinee’s wedding?

Crocs' finances have apparently gone the way of plastic purple shoe manufacturers everywhere, and some wondered how this would affect the AVP, since Crocs was a major sponsor. I don’t have the answer to this question, basically because I really don’t care about the AVP. Did it fold?

Mike Whitmarsh, speaking of the AVP but something I do care about, took his own life this past spring. This is terribly sad, of course. I enjoyed watching him play with Mike Dodd, back when the AVP was much more interesting.

Two more Final Four locations were picked: 2010's will be in Kansas City and 2012's will be in Louisville. For some reason, 2011's was already known. I have, of course, forgotten where it is, however. San Antonio again? Beats me.

Various post-season banquets were detailed. That was just about as exciting as you’d think it would be.

Lindsey Berg was named USA Volleyball’s POY. Woo-hoo! I swear I heard an advertisement on local radio (KFAN) for some event featuring Lindsey and Larry Fitzgerald (Junior, I assume). If I heard correctly, how cool is that? If I heard incorrectly, never mind.

tenniscraze started a thread entitled "The Greatness of Erin Waller." Yes, he did. I confess I did not read any of it, as enticing as that title is.

That was about it. I hope you feel caught up. I know I don’t.

I, for one, think the 2009 season cannot arrive too quickly.

The off-season update

2009-06-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

If you were like me and spent most of the past 6 months either drinking or sleeping or some combination of both, you may have missed out on some of the goings-on in the volleyball world. You may have lost your job and your significant other as well, but that's Life.

[To clarify: I have not lost my job or my significant other during the off-season. The job was lost during the season and the significant other stopped paying any attention to me back in 2002. She is still, however, significantly my other.]

So what happened? A better question is: How does one go about finding out what happened? My idea was to scroll through six months of posts on Volley Talk and then blog about it. In retrospect, this was beyond insane. I am able to reach this conclusion even though I only made it back to April.

[To clarify: I am not a psychiatrist. When I use the term "beyond insane", I am engaging in rhetorical hyperbole, not any sort of medical diagnosis. I also have no idea what that means (what I just wrote), but I'm beyond insane, so what do you expect?]

PrepVolleyball.com declared Minnesota's recruits the top class of 2009. This was interesting, exciting even, especially for Gopher fans. But what had Volley Talk all hot and bothered was the debate over whether to post the list or not.

[To clarify: The Volley Talk community is putty in John Tawa's hands.]

Volleyball magazine has revamped itself, again, with "vamp" being the operative word. For some inexplicable reason, this meant Logan Tom was on the cover wearing her underwear and the American flag. We wish them luck with their venture into soft porn.

[To clarify: I will take it all back should Volleyball magazine hire me. For anything, including soft (or hard) porn.]

Charlie Wade left Pacific after I forget how many years (three?) to take the head coaching job at Hawaii. No, he's not replacing Dave. It's the men's program. Apparently, those tropical breezes were more addictive than he thought. Does this mean we go back to speculating about his availability for every coaching opening that pops up?

Sand volleyball has been put on the fast track for something. It's way too confusing for me and I have seriously tried to figure it out. Now I'm hearing there may be some major roadblocks on this "fast" track. My interest in all of this is barely rates a blip on whatever instrument they'd need to hook up to me to measure my interest in stuff.

Transfers are always a fun part of the off-season. As of today, it would appear the Gophers also have the most noteworthy of these. Taylor Carico is departing USC to spend her senior year in Minneapolis. Others? Piggot from UCLA to UCI and Haverly from Nebraska to Indiana are the two who generated some buzz. Buzz. That's not a word I use often. Perhaps it'll never happen again?

USAV nationals were in Minneapolis and were noteworthy for the success of the Washington Huskies' squad. The Huskies went undefeated. Did they lose a game? I think they did, but I may have misremembered that tidbit. If they did, it was only one game. Misremembered is another word destined for the trash can.

Kerri Walsh had a baby boy, disappointing women's volleyball coaches throughout the land. The watch begins for pregnancy #2.

Haley Eckermann, 2011's top recruit we are told, has, we are also told, narrowed her choices to Texas and Nebraska. Haley is from Iowa, by the way.

UCLA signed a Norwegian for the 2009 season, which has to be a first. Definitely a first for the 2009 season. Has the Scandanavian pipeline been opened? Rumor had this athlete headed to Stanford. Minnesota was also rumored a while back. Just goes to show you something. I have decided to leave the name alone, in case you were expecting I wouldn't be able to resist.

Karch Kiraly has agreed to join Hugh McCutcheon as an assistant for the USA Women's program. Personally, I think this is very cool, but that's just me.

Quinnipiac apparently tried to drop their volleyball program and were taken to court where they were told "Not so fast, Quinnipiac." Something like that.

Bond Shymansky somehow ended up at Marquette, after being let go by Georgia Tech. Another one of those volleyball mysteries, I guess.

This is where I pretty much ran out of gas. I have no doubt there were other items of interest from January through March, but it's just too damned much work.

Ask (R)uffda! (recycled)

2009-05-11T10:51:00.001-07:00

As my initial blog for the 2009 season, I am going to trot out an old VolleyTalk post. Why? Let me get back to you on that one.

Dear (R)uffda!

I'm hoping you can settle a bet between my wife and me. She says one should pronounce libero "la-BEAR-oh." I say it's pronounced "LEE-ba-roh." Who's right? I've got twenty bucks riding on your answer!

Highroller

Dear Highroller,

You are both incorrect. The correct pronunciation is "cha-BRKZNYT-oo-da-fant." What say you each mail me a couple of sawbucks and we leave it at that?

(R)

Dear (R)uffda!

It was the oddest thing! I went to the Symphony the other night and everyone in the orchestra was wearing a black tux or a black dress except one of the bassoon players. He was all in white. What gives?

Baffled Concertgoer

Dear Baffled,

You were lucky enough to witness the debut of the "bolero." In an attempt to capitalize on the unqualified success of volleyball's libero, many symphony orchestras have taken to using a bolero, pronounced "boh-LAIR-oh" or "cha-BRKZNYT-oo-da-fant." I guess the basic idea is that the guy can play any instrument he wants as long as he does not use his lips.

(R)

Dear (R)uffda!

I was hoping you could explain something to me. The rule clearly states that the libero's jersey cannot have as a principal color "any color that appears on more than 25 percent of the body of the non-libero team members' uniform." How the heck do they check this?

Troubled by Math

Dear Troubled,

This is the down ref's responsibility. You may have noticed the little doo-dad these refs have been wearing, a little device that clips to their belt and connects to an earpiece. This is the iLib(TM). It's amazing what it can do to keep unruly liberos in line. It detects uniform violations, illegal attacks, front row sets, and small firearms. An alert is transmitted to the down ref's ear and -- voila! -- the whistle is blown.

Interestingly enough, Microsoft thought they had a competitive version ready for the 2004 season, but in test runs some high-pitched whistles would cause a disabling electric charge to be inflicted on the user. Microsoft says they hope to have a "patch" available for the 2007 season.

(R)

Dear (R)uffda!

Is there anything you don't know, Mr. Smarty-Pants?!

Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

Beats me. I guess that answers your question, right? Thanks for the feedback.

(R)

2008 ... and finis

2008-12-22T17:02:00.000-08:00

It's all over, and not a moment too soon. As we descend into the frozen hell that is winter in the USA, we have a new champion, a new Player-of-the-Year, and a world coming apart at the seams.

It was good volleyball. Not great. But certainly above average. The Nittanies dropped a couple of sets, and the camo-jacket has been returned to wherever Cook keeps it so handy. Barbozie and Akinradie will move on in their careers without a championship, but with three straight appearances in the final. Not too shabby. Texas is kicking themselves for not finishing off the match they led 2-0, but is still undoubtedly thrilled to have returned to the Big Booya.

We had Rose unsuccessfully stifling a sneeze during his live interview with 2K, and a disappearing point in the final. We had Hodge, who played a great championship match, possibly telling VolleyTalkites to get off her back and chill out. We had balloons and confetti falling on the vanquished Cardinal, and Fawcett screaming at Glass to "Give me the ball!" Somehow, we had the Huskers up 10-8 in the 5th game against the Nittanies. How did they do that anyhow?

Personally, it's time for me to stop pretending to be somebody I am not and move on to just trying to be somebody. Good luck with that. It's probably too early to start looking forward to the 2009 season, but it sure isn't too early start looking forward to the new year. A better year would be nice, all things considered.

I thank you all for the conversations and wish you happy holidays, a great 2009, and success in your pursuit of happiness.

Ciao.

(Woof.)

Huskers do (Huskies don't)

2008-12-13T23:11:00.000-08:00

So, over 10 hours after they started, the last match has ended with Nebraska coming back after losing the first two games, and from 3-9 in the 5th, to win 15-13 (after a 26-24 4th game). I won't slip into hyperbole about this match or this team. In a lot of ways, it was an extremely sloppily played match, and the Nebraska squad is not exactly David dealing with a series of steroid-enhanced Goliaths; there is talent there. But if ever a team consistently overachieved for an entire season, it would be this one. And if you've ever gone looking for drama worthy of Broadway, this would have been it.

I'm tired, but there are a couple of observations I'd like to make:

*I have empathy for UW. This was an extremely difficult match for them to lose. And I especially have empathy for the poor passers facing Jordan Larson's jumpserve at 13-14 in the 5th. I was not at all surprised the serve was untouched.

*Four years ago, I had the privilege of watching the first matches played by Jordan Larson, Christa Harmotto, Nicole Fawcett, Cynthia Barboza and Foluke Akinradewo. This was at the NACWAA in Omaha. Those five players return to the same city and the same venue to conclude their careers this week. It is more than fitting, especially since the crowds will be huge, something they all deserve.

*I'm going to take a pass on commenting on the Penn State-Nebraska animosity for now, other than to point out that it just adds to the flavor of this year's championships.

*I will not underestimate this Husker team. I know they have no chance against Penn State, and yet I know I don't really know that anymore.

It's been a fun day. Even if I didn't get any of Foucault's Pendulum read and it's due on Tuesday (I've renewed it two times already). Who recommended that thing to me anyhow?

It was nice to see the joy Nebraska's players were experiencing during and after their comeback. It was not so nice to see the tension gripping UW, but that's sports, I guess. I would hope they can take some solace in the fact they were a part of something really special, and not in a negative way. It was, even in all its sloppiness, a great match.

Hawaii tangles with Stanford

2008-12-13T19:47:00.000-08:00

There's not a lot to say about this one. As a recovering Minnesota Vikings fan, I know what it's like to have a team crater on the big field. Hell, I've had more than my share of the experience as a Gopher fan. I have no doubt this was Hawaii on an exceptionally bad night. I feel bad for the team and their fans.

As for Stanford, it bodes well for them that Waller, Okogbaa and Lichtman are all playing well. They will need everyone to play with the Lions. Doesn't change the fact Cassidy should have been a Gopher, but it's still good news for their fan base.

My concern for Stanford is that they will break down when pushed out of system. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm guessing the same is true for Texas. This could be the determining factor in their semi-final: Who puts the other out of system.

That's going to be a great match, if we're lucky.

Cyclones v. Longhorns

2008-12-13T17:24:00.000-08:00

I hate empty cliches. There's a bunch of them in sports, but the one about it being so hard to beat a team three times in a season is right up there at the top. Where's the data? That's what I want to know.

Anyhow, the Cyclones couldn't play the error-free volleyball they'd played against Minnesota and in the last three games against Oregon, and one thing you just can't give a team as good as Texas is a boatload of freebies. They gave UT a scare, taking g3 and leading in g4, but then the roof caved in. (Speaking of cliches.) They ran into a brick wall. They ran out of gas. They took a running leap off a very tall building. There was not much hovering, just a bunch of plummeting.

Congratulations to Iowa State on their great run.

Lions and Bears

2008-12-13T14:29:00.000-08:00

Welcome to our world, Pac10.

As predicted, PSU comes out a little sluggish and Cal takes advantage. The Bears are up 19-13 in g1 and look like they will indeed steal a game in Rec Hall. What happens? Russ's gals close out the game 12-2 and never look back, sweeping their 36th opponent in a row.

Carli, still one of my favorites, and her teammates gave it a good go, but this was not in the cards for Berkeley. Penn State is just too damned good.

Now ESPNU has an hour to kill. I'm sure they will fill it with all sorts of volleyball features. After all, they need to make up for missing the first two points of this match. Right?

Watching the regional finals

2008-12-13T06:09:00.000-08:00

I am on the look out for the following items:

*How many times will ESPN explain the rules of volleyball to us? Specifically, "point per play", what the libero is, and how we now play to 25.

*Does Cal take a game from the Nittanies? PSU has not really been pushed in the tournament. Could they not be ready for the higher level of play?

*Can Nebraska possibly find a way to beat UW? My head says "no way", but my gut is queasy. Could be all that Mountain Dew and cat.

*Can the Cyclones beat Texas? I say nope, because UT has too many offensive weapons. ISU needs to rally to stay in this match and I just don't see how they can dig all those Longhorn hitters. I am, however, rooting for them.

*Speaking of Iowa State, CJ is the last remaining female head coach in the tournament. Wouldn't it be cool for her to reach the finals? Texas fans probably think not, but ...

*Hawaii v. Stanford intrigues me. I'm just not 100% sold on The Cardinal. I'm not even 50% sold on UH, but they keep winning. I do not think this one is a lock.

Later...

Regional semis

2008-12-12T20:54:00.000-08:00

As they say in the Blog Biz, time to put this Blog to bed. If they don't say it, they should. I'm putting this Blog to bed anyhow, where it will sleep like a blog, no doubt. I'm going to do this even though UW is only up 2-0 on Utah (Karma having decided to give Seattle a skip), because I'm a little tired and the kitchen's a mess (there's a huge vat of spaghetti sauce with which to deal, just for starters).

So what happened? Illinois-Cal was probably the only match in doubt, and the Bears were triumphant. Close scores, but still three and out for the Illini. Then there was one of the matches that most people thought was not in doubt, but just proved how most people don't know jack. That would be ISU and Oregon. The Cyclones pulled off their second upset in a row, taking down the not-so-mighty Ducks 3-2 (15-8 in the 5th).

As for the rest? The Nittanies trounced the speedy Broncos, the Huskers humbled the toothless Wolverines, the Longhorns impaled the Bruins, the Wahine downed a Boilermaker or six, and The Color went all crimson on the Gators. As I said, no real surprises in any of those, other than how poorly Michigan played. It was not, truth be told, a good night for the Other10.

I do not understand how Nebraska is doing it. I just don't. But they are.

Dot Your Eye

2008-12-12T10:41:00.000-08:00

People often ask me, "(R)uffda!, why can't your blog be more like Dot Your Eye? You know, funny?" And by "people" I don't mean real people, I mean those six inch clowns that show up in the middle of the night and start braiding my hair.

Well, first of all, do they have any idea how much this hurts my feelings? The comparison to Dot Your Eye, that is, not the hair braiding. I kinda like the hair braiding. Second of all, "funny" is in the dotyoureye of the beholder. One man's funny is another man's mildly amusing.

However, in an attempt to satisfy my audience (which appears to consist of six inch imaginary hair stylists), I present a few random quotes from tonight's regional sites...

From Penn State:

Senior middle blocker Ashley Vogl of Western Michigan.

"I think something that is unique to our team that some of the other teams don't have is that we are really fast. We're not particularly big. We're kind of a smaller team in terms of height and overall presence on the floor, but we're very, very quick and I think that's something that is a threat to other teams."

For instance, just watch how fast they get from game one to the team bus.

Or as Coach Rose put it, "Well, that would be something that you can't really counteract. We have some players who are pretty quick. And we have some players who are big and quick, so there are some advantages to that."

Yes, BIG and quick has its advantages.

From Texas:

"Due to its travel schedule, Oregon was unable to attend the press conference."

Sorry, I got nothing.

From Colorado State:

"Due to the %@&#ing NCAA Selection Committee, CSU was unable to attend the regional."

OK, I made that one up, but CSU has made it too difficult to find any quotes. Or find anything, for that matter.

From Washington:

Nope, more of the same here. Website is too busy, too much flash and not enough substance. Kinda like JMac's poetry.

I have to say this has been a miserable experiment. I'm just going to have to take my cue from Frank Sinatra and do it "my way". As opposed to Nancy Sinatra and walking all over you in my boots.

Gopher broke

2008-12-07T19:42:00.000-08:00

One could see this coming. Yessir. One could. They had been dodging bricks for three weeks, but they finally took one to the ol' noggin, courtesy of the Iowa State Cyclones. I speak of the Golden Gophers of Minnesota, of course. The Gs played well enough to win, if only Iowa State had been willing to give them a few more points here and there; but the Cyclones were stingier than a CEO passing by a Salvation Army bucket. "No points for you!" seemed to be their mantra for the night.

Oh, well. It's been that kind of a year. But it doesn't take away from the Maroon and Gold's 16-4 showing in the Big10 and their #6 seed. Nor does it dampen the fun this season produced. There were a hell of a lot of entertaining matches this year. We can all hope for an off-season in which the young ladies get healthy, and look forward to the arrival of the Misses Harms, Love, Tabberson and Haugen.

Unfortunately for Gopher fans, this was probably the only real upset in the second round. Michigan over St. Louis might have been to some, but not to anyone who's seen Michigan on one of their good days. Western Michigan over Tulane, I guess, is another, although Tulane's true strength was a question mark headed into the tournament. So we are left with 5 Pac10 teams, 4 Big10 teams, 3 Big12 teams and 1 each from the WAC, MAC, SEC and MWC. Shall we take a look at the regionals? Why, yes, we shall.

Penn State regional

The Lions are set to annihilate Western Michigan (sorry, Broncos) while Illinois and Cal-Berkeley battle for the right to take them on in the final. You would think the Illini would have had enough of the Nittanies by this time, but the Golden Bears are probably thinking they have a shot. I'm picking Cal over Illinois, because I like Cal, but this should be a great match. It would be cool for Don Hardin to make the round of 8 before hanging them up. Regardless, Penn State wins this region.

Washington regional

Michigan advances on the strength of back-to-back 5-gamers, 15-13 over Kentucky and 15-12 over the #13 seeded Billikens. I think they have a genuine opportunity to upset the Cooperless Huskers, but maybe they used up all their good fortune in the first two rounds. Washington plays Utah in the other semi-final, part of the Karma Collision in this regional involving former Utes Airial Salvo of UW and Sydney Anderson of NU. I have no dog (husky or whatever) in this race, but the opportunity for Irony to make a fool of herself is intriguing. Nevertheless, I pick Michigan to upset Nebraska and UW to beat both the Utes and the Wolverines and advance to Omaha. Take that, Irony. Feeling lucky? Well are you, Punk?

Texas regional

This is the region without Gophers. Bum. Er. Texas two-stepped into the semi, crushing Lamar (25-8 in g3) and Wichita State, and will face the Spicery Bruins, winners over LSU in a struggle of sorts, and Duke in a breeze, just a plain breeze. Meanwhile, Oregon will face the Gopher-slayers from Ames, since the Ducks dispatched Delaware and North Carolina. The Ducks are also the only birds left in the tournament, for what that is worth. I pick Texas to beat Oregon in the final, although if the Cyclones play anywhere near the level they played Saturday night this tournament could be birdless one day earlier. Contrary to popular belief elsewhere, UCLA, even with Whoa! Nellie!, has no chance.

Fort Collins regional

This has been the most predictable of all the regions and will probably remain so this weekend. The Cardinal, the school too lazy to come up with a real nickname, will probably knock off the youthful Gators, although Florida did sweep a decent Colorado State squad to advance while Stanford was going 4 with (an albeit better) Long Beach team. I've been touting Florida all year and maybe they will break through in Fort Collins, but my gut says that's wishful thinking (and loosen the belt, for cripesakes!). On the other side, Hawaii, an impressive 3-0 winner over USC at the Galen Center, take on Purdue, another Big10 team that went 5 in each of its first two rounds, including 16-14 over Louisville. I don't think the Boilermakers can take down a top 10 team. They haven't yet anyhow. So I'm going with Hawaii against Stanford in the final and Stanford to advance. Boring, I know.

That takes us to the Omaha extravaganza, which is still pencilled in on my calendar. I've waffled so much about attending, I've been thinking about joining Ditherers Anonymous. But I'm of two minds about that.

Ciao for now.

[Correction: Stanford, of course, swept the Beach. I was thinking of LBSU-Pepperdine. My point was that Florida's sweep over CSU, a team they lost to earlier this year, may mean the team is peaking at the right time; however, Long Beach just beat CSU so it may not matter -- i.e., Stanford may just be too good. For what it's worth.]

Can you feel the excitement?

2008-12-03T20:35:00.000-08:00

Here we are on the eve of Tournament 2008 and I for one am a-tingle with anticipation. Or maybe it's the Mountain Dew I've been drinking steadily for the last month, hard to tell. Something has me hopped up.

...

OK. I'm back. The oldest needed the computer for some Egypt research (so she says) and one thing led to another and now it's Friday AM and the damned tournament has already started and Kentucky has already dropped a 15-13 5th game gutwrencher to the lasses from Michigan and, well, my whole train of thought has been derailed somewhere around "a-tingle".

Am I still a-tingle? Well, yes. But I'm still drinking Mountain Dew, which I need to stop soon. Or give birth to the creature in my belly. As for volleyball, things shift into a higher gear, maybe 3rd, today. Meanwhile, the DII tournament is hitting 4th gear over at Gangelhoff and I'm going to miss the semis.

The furor over the Wise kerfuffle at South Carolina seems to have subsided a bit. Or has it? Maybe I've just got my ear pressed to the wrong door? All I know is, in this country, you are innocent until proven guilty, unless of course Homeland Security is involved. If Mary ends up at Gitmo, we know there was more to this story than we first thought.

Wisconsin has missed the tournament for the first time since the early Cook era. This has been the source of much consternation from the Badger faithful. The consensus seems to be that the program needs to step up their recruiting efforts and perhaps settle on a 5-1. I am sure Pete and company will appreciate this advice and immediately put it to good use. As for the source of much constipation, all indications are that it can be tracked to a certain dairy product.

The Committee's picks and bracket seem to have floated past the VolleyTalk community without more than 10 or so posters having the obligatory bird. Did the Committee do a bang-up job? I think that's a hasty, and incorrect, assumption. More likely the fans are just beaten down by years and years of the same crappy same crap. They have thrown their collective hands into the air and said "Whatever! What's to eat? WHAT? Bologna again?? What the bleep?!"

Better that they use their collective hands for a round of applause for the Penn State Knitting Lions, who have just gone through the regular season without dropping a single game. 96 and oh my. As Jack said at the top of the beanstalk, "That is some feet!" Jack, of course, was an idiot, but you get my point. Can the PSU juggernaut be stopped? Can a juggernaut be stopped, period? If it can be, is it really a juggernaut? Is it a juggernaut not? These questions are begging to be answered. Shall we toss them a dime?

What else? The Lions, Stanford, Washington and Texas appear to be the favorites to reach the finals in Omaha. Most folks have written off Nebraska, due to Kori Cooper's injury. This may be a mistake, but the Huskers definitely have a chore ahead of them. Illinois and California have each other in their futures, and the winner will face Penn State, barring an upset for the ages. Texas has Oregon, UCLA and Minnesota in their region, all of whom will have big problems matching up with the Horns. Stanford has Hawaii and Purdue on the other side of the bracket, and Florida on theirs, all of whom are worthy opponents but probably not up at The Cardinal's level. All in all, it appears to be a very predictable tournament, but one that should feature a lot of talent and an abundance of good matches. Or not.

Xcel Energy just came to the door and offered to cut down all the rogue trees growing on the other side of our backyard fence, under the power lines. I said let 'er rip and signed the form. Told the guy he could cut down all the neighbors' trees, too. He thought that was funny, but HE was the one wearing a bright yellow coat. Go figure. Anyhow, now I have to see if Cal has any spare protesters who want to come out here and tree sit for a couple of weeks. It's 10 degrees or so today, but it could hit 15 next week. Any takers?

That's it. Ciao.

The Big Booya

2008-11-29T20:45:00.000-08:00

Because I don't like that "Big Dance" crap. Who's going to the Booya?

Auto qualifiers (31):

America East -- Albany
Atlantic 10 -- Saint Louis
Atlantic Coast -- UNC
Atlantic Sun -- Belmont
Big 12 -- Nebraska
Big East -- Louisville
Big Sky -- Portland State
Big South -- Liberty
Big Ten -- PSU
Big West -- Long Beach State
Colonial Athletic Association -- Delaware
Conference USA -- Tulane
Horizon League -- Wisconsin-Milwaukee
Ivy League -- Yale
Metro Atlantic Athletic -- Siena
Mid-American -- Ohio
Mid-Eastern Athletic -- Florida A&M
Missouri Valley -- Missouri State
Mountain West -- Utah
Northeast -- Long Island
Ohio Valley -- Tennessee Tech
Pac-10 -- Stanford
Patriot -- American
Southeastern -- Florida
Southern -- Furman
Southland -- Lamar
Southwestern Athletic -- Alabama A&M
Sun Belt -- Western Kentucky
The Summit League -- North Dakota State
West Coast -- San Diego
Western Athletic -- Hawai'i

Locks (17):

Texas
Washington
California
Minnesota
Oregon
Illinois
USC
UCLA
Wichita State
Kentucky
KSU
Colorado State
Purdue
Michigan
New Mexico State
St Marys
San Francisco

My picks (9):

Pepperdine
New Mexico
Arizona
Cal Poly
Santa Clara
Iowa State
Texas A&M
Indiana
UC Irvine

Shakier (7):

Duke
Louisville
Tennessee
Florida State
New Mexico
Cincinnati
Creighton

Just out:

Wisconsin
LSU
Baylor

Answer (R)uffda!

2008-10-17T12:37:00.000-07:00

OK, I’m turning the tables. This time, I’M asking the questions.

Huh?

Why are the antennae painted red and white?

Uh... because they’re peppermint?

How many peppermint antennae have you come across in your lifetime?

Besides the ones at the volleyball games?

Matches, but yes.

Well, do candy canes count?

Why do you keep asking me questions? Does a candy cane look like an antennae to you?

Well, it’s red and white...

And hooked, right?

Some are. Some are straight.

If the hook’s broken off it, maybe.

No, seriously. Some come as straight candy canes.

But they’re small, right? Maybe 8 inches, tops?

I guess.

So, all in all -- besides the color -- not antennae-like, right?

I suppose. Do you have any other questions?

You’re asking me questions again.

Sorry.

I have a list. Shall I read it?

No.

What’s the difference between a triple block and a double block?

One?

What’s the difference between an improper request and an inappropriate suggestion?

Depends on the girl ...

Very good! Why is a game now a set, but a set is still a set?

They’re pacing themselves?

Are three “one” passes equal to one “three” pass?

Can we stop now?

If you could be any vegetable in the world, which one would it be?

A butternut squash.

The Cucurbita moschata?

Yes.

Who is Dagmara Szyszczak?

Seriously. Can we stop now?

Is it safe?

I have things to do.

Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist party?

I’m leaving now.

On a jet plane? Will you be back again?

Hello? Are you still there?

Well, that went well, I think. Let’s do it again soon, shall we?

Ask (R)uffda!

2008-10-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

Some knowledgeable volleyball people are calling Penn State the best DI team of all-time? Is this true?

Yes, that’s what some of them are saying.

Let me rephrase ...

Don’t bother. I was just joshing with you. Is Penn State the best DI team of all-time?

That was my question.

Don’t interrupt me, please. I was speaking rhetorically.

I would say maybe. Who knows? It’s like that Coke commercial where the high school football team from the 50s is playing the team from the 00s. Coke, of course, pretends that the game will be competitive, whereas we all know that 50s team is going to have their asses handed to them.

How do we know how this Lions team would do against the 1998 Beach team? Or the Walsh/Folkl Stanford squad?

This sort of question is just not something I can answer. I can’t deal with pure hypotheticals.

Is it true Obama is a Bulgerian?

No. And way to go all tangential on me.

If Obama were a Bulgerian, would that change how you feel about Bulgerians?

No. It’s Belgians I have my beef with. With which I have my beef. But if Obama were a Bulgerian, it’d change how I feel about the Democratic nomination process.

What’s been the biggest surprise so far this season?

I’d have to say the T-Rex eating all those WSU fans. A close runner-up was Mick Haley singing the National Anthem with Boy George.

How do we dig our way out of this financial crisis?

Gotta trust the block and your teammates. You start Gentiling on us and you may as well kiss that 401K goodbye. Only Paula can pull that off.

Additional Excess

2008-10-11T22:27:00.000-07:00

Memo to Penn State:

Get with the program. Less may not be more, but it's Moderation at work.

Lots and Lots of Moderation

2008-10-07T20:46:00.000-07:00

There are many things wrong with this world we live in. Sean Hannity, for instance. But right up there at the top is Excess. Notice the capital E? That was intentional.

I'll give you an example. We take probably the most perfect food on Earth -- chocolate -- and we add caramel and nuts, maybe throw in a wafer cookie of some sort, or peanut butter, and we call that a candy bar. That's not a candy bar. That's Excess.

I could go on, but I don't want to overdo it. For the obvious reason. What I really want to say is simple: Six Pac 10 teams ranked higher than the #2 team in the Big 10 is excessive Excess. This is the sort of thing that gives birth to movements like BASTA!

What ever happened to good old-fashioned Moderation? We need more Moderation. Lots and lots of Moderation.

(Too much with the same joke?)

Impossible Qwest

2008-10-06T14:38:00.000-07:00

I’ve been having problems with Qwest. For the last two billing cycles, I’ve been unable to view my bill on-line. You might think that’s the problem, but that’s only part of it. There’s no one at Qwest who can help me. The Live Chat Help is live and chatty, but of zero help. The Customer Service folk I call tell me to take it up with Live Chat Help or they say they’ll send something or other to their IT group. I even wrote a fairly scathing letter to Corporate Headquarters.

But I still get “This file is damaged and cannot be repaired” when I try to view the damned bill on-line. On my last unhelpful chat, they promised to send me a paper copy, but it never arrived. So I tried them again today. Believe it or not, today's Live Chat helper was named Bambi. I thought for a second I had stumbled into the wrong kind of Live Chat Help, but nope. She was legit. She couldn’t help me either, but she was legit.

So I’m thinking about not paying this month’s bill.

Dear Gorf

2008-10-03T10:29:00.000-07:00

It’s funny. “Gorf” is almost more Mark than “Mark” is, if you know what I mean (and I’m pretty sure you do). It was a good name you chose, although this avatar is just spooky.

You know me. My thoughts tend to list toward the morbid. So I’ve always wondered what the world’s going to be like the day after I die. It’s hard to imagine everything just going on like normal. This is not conceit. It’s just hard to imagine. Well, let me tell you, the world’s a poorer place now that you are gone. It hasn’t come to an end (the Large Hadron Collider is broken, after all), but it’s sputtering. I think I even smell smoke.

I miss you, my friend.

B asked me to be one of the speakers at your service and I’m afraid I made a complete mess of it. I don’t even really remember what I said. I do know what I wanted to say, however, and that’s the purpose of this letter.

As you are aware, way back in the late 80s, back when we all had more hair and less mass, I started playing volleyball at the Y. These were pickup games over an extended lunch hour, up to three times a week. Participants ranged from teenagers to octogenarians. I could usually keep up with the octo-crowd -- in ability, that is, not with the wisecracks. I’m guessing that’s where we first met, although maybe it’s when I ventured into the Saturday afternoon games, the more social scene (that is, fewer octogenarians).

At the time, Inertia was my constant companion, the bastard. There had been a series of failed romances and my job, by default, was dominating my life. Somehow, I had found the get-up-and-go to get on down to the Y for volleyball. I was badly in need of some good fortune, something that would change the direction of my life.

So what happens? You did what you did with countless others. You welcomed me into the volleyball scene. Before long I was playing two nights a week in the Y leagues, then on a USAV team, then at the Volleyball Gym on Friday nights. All of this in addition to the lunch hours and Saturdays. Some might have said this was too much volleyball; and the fact my shoulder quickly stopped functioning correctly (and still bothers me to this day) would lead those same people to repeat that preposterous claim. I say I enjoyed every minute of it, even when I didn’t think I was, if you can figure that out.

There were all those post-game get-togethers at the Midway Applebees, where you first started spilling drinks on me, something you did more than anyone I’ve ever met. I can’t even imagine how many stories and laughs and bad puns we shared over the years. Or how much bad food and alcohol was consumed.

There was also the Golden Gophers, of course, a passion we shared. This passion took us on trips all over the country: to Ann Arbor and East Lansing, to Cedar Falls and Iowa City, to Long Beach and San Diego, to Champaign and West Lafayette, even to Honolulu and a Christmas in Maui. And, of course, there was that trip to Happy Valley to watch the Gophers end the Lions long home winning streak. We drove from Pittsburgh to Happy Valley on Friday, then back to Pittsburgh after the match. On Saturday we sped across Ohio to Indianapolis, then on down to Bloomington. After that match, I decided to take off in the opposite direction from how we had driven in, trying to avoid the football traffic. After driving halfway to Ohio and almost running out of gas, we started all over again -- and still caught the football traffic.

Good times.

And I’m glad to say we both made it to the Final Four in 2004. The result was not the best (Ogonna!), but it was amazing being there. Besides the volleyball, I’ll never forget that December sun shining on the Gopher bandmembers who were playing their tubas in the wading pool outside the arena. It was perfect.

Then, of course, there was VolleyTalk, where volleyball geeks from all over came to congregate, on the internet. We were proud to be a part of this geekdom, proud to give the Gophers a presence in the on-going exchange of information and opinions, misinformation and insults. I think my favorite session was when you and I sat in my kitchen during the Gophers’ meltdown at Stanford against Arizona in 2002 and let loose the hounds of our despair, and, as the match wore on, our ridicule of each other. We were the (disembodied) Two Stooges. Meanwhile, my wife was having a Pampered Chef party in the living room. True to form, you ended up buying $100 or so of the stuff.

We continued this dialogue over the years, arguing about whatever we wanted. I believe one of the last was about the mountains in Juno. I contended that Minnesota has no "mountains", certainly not anywhere near the Twin Cities. You disagreed. About there being NO mountains anyhow. It was left unresolved, this argument -- but you were wrong.

So I wanted to represent VolleyTalk at the service, since you are an out and out celebrity there. You’re Paris Hilton, I tell you! So many people have posted their condolences, it seemed only right that they have a voice, even if I did bungle it royally. That’s one of the two primary things I wanted to express. Not that I bungled it royally. That the VolleyTalk community loves you.

The other was to thank you. I’ve joked to you about this in the past, but I’m not joking now. I am perfectly serious. Fact is, I just don’t see how in the world I would have ever met my wife-to-be, become her friend, then her husband, then the father of our three wonderful girls, without you being there to usher her into my life. It was you who invited her into the volleyball community at the Y, as you had done with me. It was you who invited her to play on our team. It was you who made us all feel so welcome.

You were my good fortune and I will never, ever forget you.

Thank you, Gorf.

Armageddon Worried

2008-09-25T21:18:00.000-07:00

As someone whose job is closed tied to the financial markets, these are difficult days. As someone who lives in Minnesota, these are also the last days of autumn, no matter what the calendar says. As someone who has been a lifelong liberal, the prospect of Norm Coleman defeating Al Franken just seems like a kick in the teeth I don’t deserve. As someone who considers himself a volleyball fan, Nebraska’s rise to #2 in the country is right up there with snakes in the bed.

Other than that, I’m feeling OK. It would be nice if Gorf was feeling better. It would be nice if journeylad was feeling better. It would be nice if I were 20 years younger, too.

But I’m tired of all this stress. It’s been going on for too damned long. So I’m going to go get drunk.

Later.

Good God! Yet Another Week...

2008-09-22T11:59:00.000-07:00

It was not a good week. Not for a Gopher fan. I still like North Carolina blue -- very pretty -- but really. What the hay-ell??

Meanwhile Karma refuses to come a-knockin’ at the Cook household. What’s the guy gotta do? C’mon, Karma! Get your act together!

There was a fierce battle for Upset of the Week. Besides the aforementioned prairie rodents, Wisconsin lost another 5-gamer, this time to Oregon State. Although North Carolina and Oregon State are probably better teams than people realize, these were still bad losses for the Big Ten. Luckily, Utah managed to be swept by the 1-9 (now 2-9) Cowgirls of Wyoming, thus saving the Big Ten from receiving this dubious honor.

If I were to speculate, I’d venture that Karma has managed to misdeliver the packages intended for Nebraska and Utah. What the heck has Utah done to deserve such a fate?

Meanwhile, we breathlessly await the release of the AVCA poll so we have something more to kvetch about. We are breathless because we are hopelessly out of shape, by the way, not because of anything the AVCA poll means to us. And we kvetch because we have just finished reading Portnoy’s Complaint and our vocabulary has taken an unexpected turn. Pardon my chutzpah.

While we wait, what about The Match of the Week? I’m going with UCLA @ USC, with Wisconsin @ Minnesota and Oregon @ California close, but not quite at that level. Once again, we are left to hope that both teams find a way to lose.

Upset of this week? Watch for Ohio State to give the Wolverines more than they can handle. Or for Texas A&M to start playing to their potential and knock off Kansas State. My crystal ball is pretty blurry in regards to any other matches, but I bought the damned thing at K-Mart, so I have no one to blame but myself. And Cook. Just because.

OK, the poll is out. Amazingly, UCLA did not move into the top three, although they came close. Oregon has moved from #12 to #11, however, as the Pac Ten creeps ever closer to Six in the Top Ten again. And Cal Poly is now pushing the bottom of the envelope, falling all the way to #25, a mere 44 points ahead of Santa Clara.

My heart’s not really into this, however. They’ve sucked all the life right out of me. Oy vey!

The Week Just Past. Yeah, That One.

2008-09-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

We have now played three weeks of volleyball and we know more than we knew three weeks ago, unless we’re not very bright, haven’t been paying attention, or have suffered a blow to the head we’ve forgotten about, as frequently happens with blows to the head. We forget about them, that is.

So what do we know that we didn’t know back in early August?

I don’t know. I haven’t been paying attention. I may have even suffered a blow to the head. But I’ll still venture a guess or two.

*Penn State is the Real Deal. They are not a Faux Deal. They are not a Vague Deal. They are the Real Deal. But we knew that, so who cares?

*Nebraska is some sort of Deal. We’re still not sure what kind. They play at Kansas State and entertain Texas this week, so this could be clarified soon.

*Stanford is still a What’s the Bleeping Deal??

*There are a couple of Stealth Deals out there. Minnesota, Hawaii, Pepperdine and Colorado State for four.

*The Pac Ten is looking like a Lehman Brothers Deal, but we all know not to jump to conclusions with that conference. We’d like to, but we know better.

In other news...

*Upset of the Week? That would be the 0-8 (at that time) Utah State Aggies over the 7-0 (at that time) Purdue Boilermakers. What’s even odder is that this match sandwiched Purdue’s wins over the much stronger squads from St. Louis and Utah. Just the sort of thing to cause Dave to pull out his hair. Or, seeing as how that’s pretty much a waste of time, just the sort of thing to cause Dave to pull out John’s hair.

*The AVCA poll is out and still no sign of the Pac Ten cockroach problem being addressed. Our weekly Arizona watch shows them with 9 votes. It’s only a matter of time.

*Somebody voted Nebraska #1. Personally, I don’t think they should even be #2.

*Match of the upcoming week? Let’s go with Texas at Nebraska. That one should also help resolve the previous point and should allow the Pac Ten to slip a team into the top three. I know I can’t wait.

*Otherwise it’s not a real exciting week for top-notch matchups, although the Mountain West also kicks off their season with Colorado State hosting Utah and BYU.

*And we should see the debut of the first Pablo of the year. Soon to be followed by an intense discussion about the merits of Pablo and hurt feelings all around.

I know I can't wait for that either.

What a Week it Was

2008-09-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

If I can repeat myself, what a week it was! So much going on there was some talk of adding an 8th day. I think they were going to call it Doomsday.

Oh, wait. That’s this week.

Let’s see. On Thursday, I stayed up until 3am listening to the Minnesota-Hawaii match, which went five games and ended not so good. The next day I dragged my tired you-know-what to work and that ended up not so good, as well.

Upset of the Week? Has to be St. Louis taking down the mighty Cardinal. Stanford was taken to Fonke Town, when Hey Hey, You You, Sammi McCloud wasn’t casting her shadow far and wide. Who woulda thunk it? Not I. I picked St. Louis to upset the Illini, not the Color Red.

Miami of Ohio deserves an Honorable Mention for beating Wisconsin. They won’t get one, however, because I don’t give honorable mentions. Besides, as a lad born and raised in Athens, I’m not a huge Miami fan anyhow. You want an honorable mention? File the proper forms.

Must Have Been Fun Match: Florida is down 0-2 to The Beach, but manages to claw their way back for the win. This one brings up more questions than it answers. Are the youthful Gators Top Ten material? Are the LBSU ladies ready to bring that program back to the Top Ten? Have they cut off any blood flow wearing the usual 49er unis? The jury is still deliberating (they just ordered pizza).

Undeserved Ranking Award to the Huskies of UW, off to their usual 5-0 start without really being tested. Kudos to Portland State as the first team to reach 20 against Jim’s lasses. UW does head to the Islands this week for sand, sun and competition, however.

Toughest Week for a Ranked Team would have been Louisville’s -- they dropped two 5-gamers, to Valpo and Indi -- except I just noticed they aren’t ranked. Bummer. Well, they won’t be now, either. So that means I have to find another worthy recipient or delete this entire paragraph. Hmmmm, I don’t want to gang up on Stanford, so let’s give it to the Badgers. Not only did they lose to the Redmen*, or whatever they call themselves nowadays, they went to a 5th game with UNLV.

Match of the Upcoming Week? California @ Minnesota should be good. Cal Poly is in the tournament, too, so that’s another two matches to which to pay close attention. Others? UNI @ KSU, Texas A&M @ San Diego, Missouri-Pepperdine, BYU @ Wisconsin, Purdue and St. Louis @ Utah and against each other, Miami OH @ Western Kentucky, Washington @ Hawaii, Santa Clara and NMSU @ Stanford and against each other, and Florida @ Colorado State.

Yes, I relied on Rich for those matches.

Anyhow, we all die on Wednesday, so it’s probably moot. Moot!!

____
*They claim it’s now RedHawks, with no space between red and hawks, and a capital H.

The end is so close you can smell it!

2008-09-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, to be exact. So I said to myself, "Do I really need to bother with the weekend review?"

Large Hadron Collider

Are you prepared?

My question is this: If I have my long-anticipated stroke on Wednesday, how the hell am I going to know if I died or if the world just came to an end? The latter, of course, would be the silver lining...

**Professor Cox, typically sedate, adds irritatingly, "Anyone who thinks the LHC will destroy the world is a t---. "**

A turd? A tick? A tarp? Those British.

**While the reactor could produce black holes, according to physicists, they would be tiny and would not be capable of growing. The study states, "Each collision of a pair of protons in the LHC will release an amount of energy comparable to that of two colliding mosquitoes, so any black hole produced would be much smaller than those known to astrophysicists."**

Now I don't know about you, but I don't want to run into any black holes, nano-sized or not. Nothing good could possibly come of that. At the very least, it's going to ruin my pants.

Blogging the night away

2008-09-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

Cincinnati dropped a GAME to Wyoming, so the late night match between the Gophers and the Wahine is an even later late night match.

I am fading fast. Maybe I should go downtown and throw a brick at something? [FBI? That was a joke.] Maybe I should just go to bed?

Let's check out the Live Stats. Woo-hoo! It's being updated for the next match.

I shall return. It's 12:07.

12:16

They are singing/have sung the anthem. This is promising.

Live Stats is not functioning. I am not listening to the audio, just following Cindy Luiz's blog.

12:24

Such is the life of a volleyball fan. There's no sign of life from their Live Stats program. Somebody forgot to plug something in?

12:28

I'm told it's 10-9 Gophers. That's all I know. Except that I'm a fool for following this sport...

Now 15-12 Hawaii.

12:32

OK, I'm going to try radio. I have no doubt I am just setting myself up for more disappointment. Let alone the score.

12:34

Sure enough. The link does not work.

12:36

My laptop will crash next. I will try to connect through the Hawaii website.

12:40

22-20 UH and the radio is on. Timeout Gophers?

12:45

Gophers lose 25-22. Sounds like they had chances. Got it to 23-22 and had two hitting errors.

12:54

9-8 UH with Gophers serving. Doesn't sound good. Yet. Dieter ties it up at 9. Still no Live Stats and now the colors are wrong. 10-9 Gophers. 11-9, Dieter again.

01:00

15-13 Gophers at the break. Sounds like a pretty even match with some fairly long rallies. Nothing much from either set of middles? Kvodt in for Luiz? Rotation error?

01:05

18-17 Gophers with UH serving. Too nerve racking. Wracking? Dieter blocked for 18 all.

Still no middle attack for the Gophers. Now 19-18 UH. Luiz back in for Vodt. Gib blocked. 20-18. Crud.

01:12

Granquist comes in and jumpserves Gophers to a 21-20 lead. First jumpserves of the year? The secret weapon? Another block and 22-20. Another error 23-20. That's why we like Granny. Me and my other personalities.

01:15

To 24-20 before another Gib error. What's up with Lauren? Gophers are control blocking Houston a lot. Loooooong rally before another Houston error. Lots of Hawaii errors there from their 20-18 lead.

1-1 in Paradise.

01:28

Game 3 underway and Gophers down 0-2. Now 0-3. I was kind of hoping the Gophers would be feeling more comfortable. Looks more like they and Hawaii are at about the same level. #10-20 range. Nothing to complain about.

01:39

15-12 UH at the break.

Live Stats does not look like it wants to play this evening. Dead Stats, I guess. 15-13 on a Roehrig kill. Gibby to serve. 16-13. Dieter hits out 17-13. Crud.

01:46

Live Stats up just in time for me to watch the Gophers fall behind 22-18 and call a timeout. Hawaii hitting .483 and Minnesota .357 this game.

23-18 on another Gib error. They _really_ need her offense.

Hawaii likes to go 5. We shall see.

25-19 as UH hits .500 with 19 (!) kills. Yikes.

02:00

Another bad start. 5-8. Doesn't look good. My bed awaits. Oh me of little faith. Still no middle attack. Just outside hitting rally after rally. 6-8 on a long point. Luiz makes it 7-8. Woo-hah.

02:13

Gophers grab the lead and were up 15-13 at the break. But it's now 17 all after an overpass. Game to 8. 3,519 is the attendance.

19-17 on some slime kill off the tape from Luiz and then a UH error. UH timeout. 2-0 in the game to 8. Hey, it's 2:17! You expecting Tolstoy?

And I promised Mr. Kern I'd record this score. Man.

Herring now has 17 kills. 19-18.

20-18 on another Luiz kill.

21-18 on a Luiz-Gibster block.

Tan is serving. Net violation on UH. 22-18.

Herring from the backrow, 22-19.

Gibby whiffs in the middle? 22-20.

Overpass, but Houston has a problem. Net violation. 23-20.

23-21 off the block.

24-21 on Gib tip.

How do you like that, me of little faith?

24-22 on a Cube kill. Then Herring blocks Gib to 24-23. Timeout Gophers.

Dieter was the last server, so it should be Roehrig-Schmidt-Luiz? Not if Gib was blocked. Hmmmm.

Lauren with a kill for 25-23.

02:25

So Roehrig must be the L1. That's new, I think. Hartman-Roehrig-Schmidt-Luiz-Dieter-Gibbemeyer.

Game 5. Can we take this to 3am?

02:31

Another bad start. 6-2 UH. Timeout.

Me of little faith is whispering in my ear. The bastard.

8-2. This one is over. A missed opportunity of the Gold and Maroon kind.

Live Stats goes blank. 10-3. Not a good showing from a team with questions about their mental toughness. It's now 11-3.

I am going to be a loyal fan and hang in there until that last point is scored. You never know. Well, actually you do sometimes. Most of the time. This one is over. Like a turkey on Thanksgiving Day. Yeh. Like that.

Hartmann-Roehrig-Schmidt not the best rotation for the Gophs. 5-11 nonetheless. 5-12.

Luiz blocked for 13-5.

Gobble gobble ack!

15-7 after a long long rally and ended by a Dieter scud into the twilight.

Close. No cigar or any other tobacco products.

Good night.

The Week in Review

2008-09-03T08:58:00.000-07:00

Which beats The Weak in Review, no?

Let’s see. How can we sum up week one from the volleyball lasses?

Biggest surprises? Probably Nebraska and Wichita State. Not fall-out-of-your-chair-and- bonk-your-head-on-the-hard-kitchen-floor surprises, but definitely choke-a-little-on-your-cheerios-and-possibly-spill-your-OJ surprises.

Biggest flop? Stanford gets that honor for not showing up against the Huskers in match 1. They do, however, get an autographed BASTA! t-shirt for taking down Texas in 5. They will have to share the shirt, however; our budget is miniscule.

Cheapshot of the week is sent out to Mick Haley. The cover of Coaching Volleyball has Mick exclaiming “It’s a New Game!” Our response is, Yes, and you are Oh for Two!

Biggest non-surprise? The Nittany Lions roll over the opposition in Hawaii, including a 25-9 spanking of our beloved Bobcats. These girls are not nice.

Best weekend for a conference? The Big Ten takes this one, thanks to the Lions, the Illini, the Gophers and the Boilermakers.

Worst weekend? I’m going to hand this one to the Pac Ten, out of principle. When you have 6 teams ranked in the top eleven, you set yourself up for serious scrutiny. Stanford, UCLA, USC and Oregon all underperformed.

Weekly AVCA Poll rant? There are still 6 Pac Ten teams ranked in the top thirteen. And Arizona has a bullet next to their name. Uh-oh.

Upset of this week: I’m picking Cal Poly to trip up the Huskers. You heard it here second.

Best matches of this week: Minnesota @ Hawaii and Nebraska @ Cal Poly. But there's a bunch. Just check out the Pick 'Em contest at VolleyTalk.

VolleyTalk Contest

Meanwhile, I am footloose but saddled with fancies. I’m not complaining, just sayin’.

What I have against Belgium

2008-08-27T10:42:00.000-07:00

Belgians

Waffles, the Belgian variety

Brussel sprouts

Brugge

Flemish

Breugel

InBev

Don’t argue with me. I am set in my ways.

Wait a second. Was it Bulgaria? I forget.

Just thought I'd say...

2008-08-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

HOO-FRICKIN'-HAH!

Way to go guys.

Hugh is one classy man.

Just wanted to say...

2008-08-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

Hoo-hah!!

Way to go gals!

Guarantee

2008-08-19T12:54:00.001-07:00

I've been busy. I'm done with my Top 30, I'm writing a rebuttal to an article by Mick Haley, and I've been adjusting my medications daily (I think Luke may have gone away!).

But I'd like to point out that it was yours truly who guaranteed the USA Volleyball Women would medal in these Olympics.

They wouldn't let me down now, would they?

Asketh (R)uffda!

2008-07-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

What’s with the dog blogging? I come to (R)uffda!’s blog to read blogs by (R)uffda!, oddly enough. Can’t you keep the mutt off the computer?

First of all, I find it hard to believe anyone comes to this blog to read blogs by yours truly. My guess is anyone who visits here has ended up here by accident. This leads me to believe you are a fictitious poster OR Luke.

Second of all, do not underestimate the powers of dead dogs. I know I won’t. Again.

What’s your take on USAV’s chances in the Olympics?

I have gone on record guaranteeing a medal for the women. You can take that to the bank, as long as it’s not IndyMac.

As for the men, it depends on the Swedes. If they have an off Olympics, who knows?

You do know Sweden did not qualify a volleyball team for the Olympics, right?

Right. Tell me another one.

Which do you prefer, briefs or boxers?

Briefs, because boxers don’t fit under my pants -- and, believe me, I’ve tried. Not even a fly weight works.

What did you think of the new Batman movie?

I couldn’t follow it. But Heath Ledger was cool. He made Jack Nicholson look like Ronald Macdonald.

Didn’t you use that joke over on VolleyTalk?

No, I don’t think so.

Yes, you did. Does it bother you when you start ripping off yourself?

Not as much as being smacked with a stick. Or a shovel. Or a shopping cart. I don’t like being smacked by most anything, to tell you the truth. Even cotton candy would get me all sticky.

Who’s going to win it all this year?

All what?

The volleyball title. You know, the NCAA title.

No clue. Stanford, I guess.

Why?

(R)uffda!’s Law. Just when things look like they can’t get any worse The Cardinal will win another volleyball title.