Update from nowhere

Not that anyone will read this, but I am not dead. Wolfgang asked. I did not say something racist -- no idea what geddy is talking about and sorry to hear he does not miss me. I also was not using a mod account as a "sock puppet." People did not like the fact I was posting as a Mod, but I made no secret that I was also a mod. I left VT because it was not bringing out the best of me. It did once, imo. But that ended. I miss the community, but I do not miss how much time I tended to waste there, especially trying to moderate. I have no hard feelings and there are many of you I miss. Even geddy. And now I'll fire this off into the void where no one will ever read it. ruffda_55108@yahoo.com

Karch Kiraly -- World's Worst Person -- Who Knew?

Other voicemail messages now coming to light:

"Yeah, hi. It's Karch. Listen. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think I ate your puppy. Later."

"Uh, hi. It's me. Two-K. Any chance I can get you to change your wedding date? I know I said I'd be there, but you know how it is. There's a Friends marathon that weekend. Get back to me."

"What's up dawg? Karchster here. Sorry to hear about your mom. But they don't call him the Jolly Reaper, do they? Anyhow, give me a jingle when you're over it. Bye."

"Great news! You made the team! Just kidding. It's Cutsville for you. Feel free to try again. If you need some exercise."

"Came up with a new haiku. You'll love it. Volleyball is hard/And bad things can happen too/You did not make it."

Just for the record ...

... volleyball didn't get the memo. What happened in 2015? Nebraska wins. The fact that Minnesota was there, AND B1G champions? Just made it sting all the more.

But we've moved on. It's April, after all. Springtime. Trees are budding. Flowers are blooming, more or less. The birds are burying their dead. A young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love, while a middle-aged man's fancy turns to thoughts of buying a new fancy. The point is, it's time to look ahead. No doubt the future will bring us another Husker, Cardinal, Longhorn or Lion title, but at least it's out there in the future. Like the mountain on the horizon or the duck in your bathroom.

I don't know what that means either.

The Olympics are also ahead. Will the Women finally win Gold? Will there be a Brazil left to hold the games? Will sherbet ever admit it's not ice cream?

Again. No clue.

Anyhow, here's my entry. It's been a while. I say that a lot. BoilerUp! is no longer with us and she will be missed.

Wait for the whistle. Then serve.

So that was that

It's all over. The confetti has fallen. The trophy has been hefted aloft, hoisted as it were. And the Nittany Felines have won another one.

Yes, that bores me, too. Although I did like the pictures of Salima with Micha.

Concordia did not win their eighth in-a-row. The Gophers did not even make the tournament. Team USA won a gold medal, so there was a payoff, on the macro scale. I have no doubt Earth would kick Jupiter's butt, too.

It's New Year's Eve Eve. 2014 prepares to go the way of 2004, 1994, 1984, 1974, 1964 fercripesakes. Ten years ago, the Gophers fell to The Cardinal in the final. Gorf and Vagabond were there to see it. My family drove from Long Beach to the Grand Canyon, since huge holes in the ground seemed appropriate. We then drove back to LA and flew home, since bitter cold seemed appropriate. Came back on Christmas Eve, come to think of it.

But I digress.

Volleyball is becoming as predictable as Women's basketball. I hope this does not continue, as much as I admire Russ Rose and the PSU program. Variety. That's what we need. So no Texas or Stanford or even Nebraska. We need a new champion.

What are the odds? Something on the order of this happening ...

Ask (R)uffda!

Ask (R)uffda!

Dear (R)uffda!

What can a volleyball fan do for fun, other than going to matches or leafing through old Gopher media guides, of course?

Not Bored Exactly

Dear Not Bored Exactly,

Well, there’s always Volley Talk (at VolleyTalk.net). I hesitate to bring it up because it’s a little bit like recommending the Everglades. Yes, there are things of interest there, but there are also mosquitoes, alligators and pythons. Hard to appreciate the scenery when there’s a snake around your neck. However, if you’re very careful – watch where you step – you can get out of there alive. Volley Talk, that is. You’ll never get out of the Everglades alive.

One of the potentially entertaining items at Volley Talk is a weekly Pick-the-Winners contest. You could zip over there right now and match your prognostication skills with volleyball fans from all over the country. I no longer participate, mind you, but don’t let my decision to abstain from further humiliation stop you from giving it a go. Heck, I’ll even make an exception and let you know the picks I would make if I were still making picks. We’re all friends here, right? 

Wednesday, October 22 [home teams in CAPS]

1. CALIFORNIA v. Southern Cal             USC has been a major disappointment so far, but Cal is having a really down year. Go with the Trojans, but shower afterwards. You’re going to feel dirty.
2. KANSAS STATE v. Oklahoma             Let’s go with Minnesota’s very own Kylee Zumach in this one and pick KSU.
3. MINNESOTA v. Nebraska                   Well, we have to pick our Gophers, right? How could we call ourselves Boosters and not?
4. OREGON v. Arizona                             I’m going to go with the home team and pick the Ducks. Sorry, Kalei.

Thursday, October 23

5. BYU v. Loyola Marymount                  BYU. This is the first one I’m actually fairly confident about. Although, LMU isn’t that bad. OK, I’m not confident about this one either. See comment about the WCC below.

Friday, October 24

6. NORTHWESTERN v. Purdue              Crikee! These are hard. So hard they’ve apparently turned me into an Aussie. I’m picking Purdue here, but … crikee!
7. OHIO STATE v. Michigan State          The Buckeyes. Speaking of whom (which?), what a great job they’ve done picking themselves up from the mat after the tough loss here. They’ve had a brutal schedule and are still 5-3.
8. OREGON v. Arizona State                  Same deal here with the Ducks. At home, I pick them. ASU is decent this year, but I’m picking the Ducks. The Ducks, I tell you!
9. OREGON STATE v. Arizona                Tricky one. I’m going to go with OSU here, in a mild upset. Really sorry, Kalei.
10. PENN STATE v. Michigan                  I never bet against the Lions. Yes, I know that, technically, there’s no money being wagered here, but the principle is the same. Plus, you should always make these picks as if there is money involved. You’ll feel so much better after knowing you didn’t actually lose any money with your lousy picks.
11. PITTSBURGH v. Florida State         Pitt is having a good year. FSU is having a better one. Plus they have two ex-Gophers, making it yet another apology to Kalei. Sort of. FSU here.
12. STANFORD v. Ucla [Tiebreaker: total points scored =___]                                                                                    The Evil Empire will win, Satanicford. The PtW people use one match each week to break any potential ties and do it with total points scored. I think The Cardinal win in three, so I’m going with 135 points (25-20 x 3). Of course, if I actually thought I could possibly get into a tiebreaker I’d put more thought into this. I did, actually, lose a tiebreaker once now that I mention it. I’d almost erased that memory.
13. WASHINGTON STATE v. Colorado  This is a good one, too. I pick WSU in another upset. You might be wise to go with Colorado. How’s that for no help at all?

Saturday, October 25

14. ILLINOIS v. Purdue                          I think the Boils are a little overrated. I could be wrong, but I’m picking the Illini here. I mean I could be wrong about Purdue being overrated. Of COURSE I could be wrong about who will win.
15. OHIO STATE v. Michigan                  Buckeyes in this one, too. I don’t even like Ohio State, Geoff excepted. But they will win.
16. OREGON STATE v. Arizona State   Now, it stands to reason I’d pick OSU in this one, too, since I picked them against Arizona. But I think they only have the one win in them this weekend. Just my luck, I’ll have the matches reversed. I’m going with ASU.
17. PENN STATE v. Michigan State       Lions. I told you why. Don’t make me repeat myself.
18. SAN DIEGO v. Loyola Marymount   One of the reasons I stopped doing this contest was because I could never pick WCC matches correctly. I pick the Toreros now, because they are home. But you have the caveat.
19. TEXAS v. Oklahoma                          Finally! A lock. Well, relatively speaking. The Longhorns will not lose to the Sooners at home.
20. WEST VIRGINIA v. Kansas State    I know nothing about West Virginia, but I know the guy who puts together these picks. He would not choose this match if it were not a trap. I’m still picking the Wildcats, but I do so knowing I may have to gnaw off my leg to escape.

Sunday, October 26

21. CALIFORNIA v. Ucla                          Cal can’t be as bad as their record, now 0-8 (0-9 if they lose to USC). They are due. The program is too good to go 0-10. For these reasons, I pick UCLA.
22. STANFORD v. Southern Cal              Stanford wins again. Yawn. Too bad they can’t both lose.
23. TEXAS A&M v. Kentucky                  Another tricky pick. Do we let our Nelson loyalty sway us here or do we go with the home team? I pick the Wildcats, for Meredith.
24. WASHINGTON v. Colorado              Woot! Another easy one. Washington wins, which means I should pick Colorado against WSU. Too late.
25. WISCONSIN v. Nebraska                 Nebraska just isn’t Nebraska this year. Wisconsin, on the other hand, is kinda Nebraska this year. The Badgers continue to win. Carlini! Carlini! Carlini!

Read more: http://volleytalk.proboards.com/thread/55778/pick-winners-contest-week-entries#ixzz3GivwzVYw

You know what? That wasn’t fun at all. Forget I said anything. You’re very welcome!

(R)uffda!

Ask (R)uffda!

Dearest (R)uffda!

Darling, I miss you more than I can say. Who knew Champaign-Urbana would be the destination for Love?

Oops. Wrong letter. Wait a second.

Dear (R)uffda!

I – and several other fellow fans – are depressed. Well, one of us appears to have fallen in love in Champaign-Urbana, of all places, but the rest of us are depressed. This season is not going the way I expected. We could really use some cheering up. Can you help?

Gloomy Gus

Dear Gloomy Gus,

Sorry to hear you’re spending some time in the Dumps. It’s an OK place to visit, I suppose, but you would be better off keeping your stay there brief. Maybe do Unhappy Hour at Applebees and head out? Now, I could tell you that this is a very young team and there are going to be some growing pains. I could also tell you that the team could use a break or two. I actually did just tell you those things, but I’m going to turn this over to someone much more qualified than I am in Motivational Oratory. I offer you Bluto Blutarsky.

"What? Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"

I think that says it all.

(R)uffda!

Dear (R)uffda!

I don’t know who this Bluto-guy is but that didn’t really help. First of all, I’m pretty sure it was the Russians who bombed Pearl Harbor. Second of all, what does Pearl Harbor have to do with volleyball?

Gloomier Gus

Dear Gloomier Gus,

OK. How about this one? It’s about a tortoise and a hare. They have this race, see?

Dear (R)uffda!

And the tortoise ends up winning, I know. I know.

Dear GG,

Winning? How is a tortoise going to win a race against a hare? Do you have any idea how slow tortoises are?

No, what I was going to say before you interrupted me (and how do you do that via the mail anyhow?) is that Life is a race. Some of us are tortoises and some of us are hares. Some of us are 6-foot-5 and some of us are tortoises. The point is that … wait. I’ve lost my train of thought.

Dear (R)uffda!

Never mind.

Gloomiest Gus

Dear Gloomiest Gus,

No, no! I remember. The point isn’t just that Life is a race. It’s a race with hurdles. We’ve clipped a few hurdles here, out of the starting block. But we don’t quit. We persevere. We continue to do our utmost best – and, when the race is over, we see how we did.

(R)uffda!

Dear (R)uffda!

So do you think the team will do that?

Dear GG,

I wasn’t talking about the team. I was talking about us, their fans. I have NO doubt that’s what the team will do. We just need to do the same. These are tough times, but this is when a team needs its fans. Because you know what? It WASN’T over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

(R)uffda!

Ask (R)uffda! (not so dated)

Ask (R)uffda!

It’s a brand new season and we all know what that means. Time to reach into the old mailbag and answer a question or two, questions you may not even know you asked, let alone wanted answered.

Dear (R)uffda!,

I always look forward to finding out what the NCAA rule changes are for the upcoming season. I also like to sort paper clips and watch ice cubes melt. So what’s new for 2014?

Need a life, desperately

Dear Need a Life, Desperately,

I’m going to make an assumption here and guess that you’re more interested in major changes than you are in the usual reffing minutiae. Or do you want to know that it is no longer required that a libero’s shorts be identical to her teammates’? Or that the team mascot on the uniform sleeve is OK, as long as it does not exceed 3”x5” or 4”x4”?

Let’s see. Timeouts have been changed from 60 seconds to 75 seconds. Apparently, the coaches made it clear that they needed 15 more seconds if they were going to be including a joke. However, the coaches, by mutual consent, can shorten this to 60 seconds or extend it to 90 seconds -- for a specific match.

Other than that, the only one you might actually notice is that contact with the net outside the antennae is now legal, provided the player does not interfere with the other team or use the net for support while playing the ball.

(R)uffda!

Dear (R)uffda!

What? That’s it?! I waited nine months for THAT?

Need a life, desperately

Dear Need a Life, Desperately,

Wow. That was quick. It’s almost as if you wrote me back before I even answered you. Weird.

Yes, that is it. But, because you obviously seem disappointed, there are also some points of emphasis for the refs this year you might find intriguing. This, for instance, are their Ball Handling Directive Guidelines*:

Goals of the Ball Handling Directive

Consistency in ball handling judgment

ü  Only the contact point should be considered when judging legality. Just because a player is wearing mittens does not automatically mean she cannot set cleanly.

ü  Outside influences such as player technique, spin, coaches’ expectations or crowd reaction should not be considered when judging the legality of the contact. However, the guy in the premium seats with the gopher ears? He knows what’s what. Listen to him.

ü  There is no body/ball position or playing technique that automatically results in illegal contact. If the setter insists on setting with her feet? Well, call THAT. That’s just ridiculous. NO ONE can set that way. And, on second thought, call the mitten-setter, too.

An increase in continuation of play when judging second ball contacts that are directed to a teammate

ü  A player in good position must play the ball without discernible double contact. In short, even Lauren Carlini can double her set. Maybe.

ü  Less severe judgment is applied to a contact by a player who makes a challenging or spectacular play. Seriously. This sounds like a joke, but it isn’t. But try to keep the unicycles off the court.

ü  Mishandled balls resulting in a blatant fault should still be called, regardless of the challenging or spectacular nature of the play. In other words, good luck with all of this. We realize these guidelines are impossible to follow.

*These goals have been slightly edited. See http://www.ncaapublications.com/p-4321-2014-and-2015-volleyball-rules.aspx for the real thing.

(R)uffda!

Should be a great season. Be sure to write!