Karch Kiraly -- World's Worst Person -- Who Knew?

Other voicemail messages now coming to light:

"Yeah, hi. It's Karch. Listen. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think I ate your puppy. Later."

"Uh, hi. It's me. Two-K. Any chance I can get you to change your wedding date? I know I said I'd be there, but you know how it is. There's a Friends marathon that weekend. Get back to me."

"What's up dawg? Karchster here. Sorry to hear about your mom. But they don't call him the Jolly Reaper, do they? Anyhow, give me a jingle when you're over it. Bye."

"Great news! You made the team! Just kidding. It's Cutsville for you. Feel free to try again. If you need some exercise."

"Came up with a new haiku. You'll love it. Volleyball is hard/And bad things can happen too/You did not make it."