You say it's your birthday?

Well, happy birthday to you!

For those of you who do not know, Ron Kern turns 83 today. For those of you who don't know who Ron Kern is, well, first of all, shame on you! Second, he's the old guy over at richkern.com who runs the Rich Kern Show. You can't miss him. He's the guy on the porch in his longjohns, the one toting the shotgun.

People often ask me how I know Ron, usually just before they ask me to lend them a ten-spot. I've stopped telling them the truth -- about the bank heists, the cell in Leavenworth, the needlepoint, etc. -- and now give them a poem I wrote for him back in 1962, a poem I am not about to share with you here. What I will tell you is that there are few people in this world for which I would be willing to stand up and fight, and Ron probably isn't one of them. But that says more about me than it does about him. I just don't like getting hit. Sue me.

What was I talking about? Ron's birthday, right. I never forget this event, coming as it does just before the autumnal equinox. I know if the sun's setting pretty much due west that Ron's just about completed another trip around the sun. And that's cool. It's like he has his own celestial milestone.

So happy birthday, Mr. Kern. You want more than that, haul out that poem.