Blogversations With Something

[OK, this is a facsimile. The FIVB photo keeps disappearing. They are very close, however.]

Today’s Blogversation is with the new volleyball prototype FIVB has been showing around at the World Cup. Rumor is that this ball, or something very much like it, could be THE ball at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.


(R)uffda!: So, Ball... can I call you “Ball”?

New Volleyball Prototype: Can I call you “Mammal”?

(R)!: Whoa! What’s with the attitude, dimples?

NVP: I knew it! I knew exactly where this interview was headed. “Dimples”! I could have predicted you’d say something like that. You traditionalists are all the same. It’s all about the “purity” of the sport. How dare we mess with your precious game! and So and so isn’t half the player Karen Kemner was! Well, guess what?! Karen Kemner is dead! It’s time to move on. Embrace the Now!

(R)!: Karen isn’t dead.

NVP: Beside the point. She might as well be.

(R)!: I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to hear that.

NVP: OK, Mr. Bigshot Blogger, you tell me: What do you have against me and my ilk?

(R)!: You have an ilk? I see the dimples, but an ilk?

NVP: Again with the dimples. How is it exactly that I offend you, Doofda?

(R)!: You don’t offend me. Although that “Doofda” was uncalled for. Let’s try this: Tell us why Volleyball needs a new ball.

NVP: Why’d Lincoln need a beard?

(R)!: Because he was even uglier without one?

NVP: No! Because he wanted to look presidential. Volleyball wants to look modern. Fashionable. Trendy.

(R)!: So you’re going to grow a beard?

NVP: You really are kind of dim, aren’t you?

(R)!: Well, I’m sitting here letting a ball insult me, so there are obviously brighter bulbs in Grandma’s living room. So, the whole point of the change is basically a makeover?

NVP: Not how I’d put it. I also fly straighter and roll truer. My cover is softer, as well. But even if I wasn’t a better performing ball, you should never underestimate the appeal of truly chic sports equipment.

(R)!: Tell me about your bladder.

NVP: I beg your pardon!

(R)!: Chic is great, but if you have a leaky bladder, what's the point. Didn't Kate Moss say that?

NVP: You are yanking my chain, Doofda.

(R)!: I guess I was just unaware that there was a problem with the ball. Next thing you'll tell me the net's being redesigned.

NVP: As a matter of fact, Ruben has some ideas about that.

(R)!: Well, it's been great talking to you.

NVP: That's it?!

(R)!: Don't you need to roll along? You look like you could use some air.

NVP: Fine. But you'll be sorry. I am part of the future, Doofda. You and your kind aren't even dinosaurs. You're dinosaurs in leisure suits.

(R)!: See you in Beijing! Until next time, this has been Blogversations With Something.