(R)uffda! Asks

1) So the wife's team made the State Tournament, but it was a long match. By the time the girls won, I had 45 minutes for a 90 minute to 2 hour drive. Being the good husband I am, and wishing to do my part for the glory of the team, I took off anyhow. I arrive at the gym in time to see the last 5 points of a match that lasted less than an hour. Here's my question: It seems to me this is the perfect time to play a practical joke on the spousal entity. Should I follow my instincts and make up a scouting report? I have all sorts of cool ideas, like serving to area one constantly, and not blocking their middles. What do you think? Good joke or marriage-bomb?

2) I think this blog needs a shot in the butt. I was thinking about just absolutely ripping a program to really jab that hypodermic into the old rump. Nebraska or Hawai'i?

3) Somebody needs to stand up to that bully Terry Pettit. He can't be making such blatantly incendiary statements about one of our members without someone saying "Hey, Pettit! Back off, man!" Who should it be? I'm sure as hell not going to do it.

4) I am almost finished with the unauthorized biography of Rich Kern. I need a good title and all I can come up with is "Rich Kern: From Attica to Lincoln." Anyone have any better ideas?

5) Do I really need an iPod?