Pet Peeves

Pet peeves is an interesting topic, as blog topics go. Unless, of course, you were an undomesticated young peeve running wild on the prairie with your sibling peeves and were snatched up by some heartless peeve-poacher and sold to PestMart. Then it’s more of a horrific topic. But I’m going to assume none of my readers are feral peeves, or peeves of any variety, for that matter. I’m also going to assume I have readers.

The upshot is that I have a few of these peeves and I’d like to list them here. I promise they are all volleyball-related. Any resemblance to the list previously posted by the so-called “Luke” is purely coincidental. Since he has not followed up on his parcel of peeves, as he said he would, it’s Tough Alpo for Luke, regardless. Anyhow, here’s my list. I’m going to use bullets, by the way. Something a dog would never think to do.

* People (which by definition includes Wolfgang) who still think “Golden Gopher” is an animal, rather than a color

* The backrow block/backrow attack calls

* Complaints about missed touch calls

* Dead dogs blogging on my blog

* The lack of helpful graphics during TV coverage of the sport

I have more. But this is probably more than enough for a blog. So, without further ado...


Golden Gopher

The very first football game for the University of Minnesota was September 29, 1882. This was originally to have been a “Field Day” with Carleton and Hamline joining the Minnesota students, but Carleton apparently got the date wrong and showed up September 29, 1282, after spending hundreds of dollars on constructing a time machine and endless hours working out the logistics, such as what snacks to bring along and what to wear. The Hamline kids, who weren’t really in to “Field Days” in the first place, wanted to book, but Minnesota’s captain, one A.J. “Baldy” Baldwin, persuaded the Pipers to stick around for a game of football. Although Baldwin scored the first points in the 4-0 Minnesota victory and performed the first end zone celebration in football history, he unfortunately pulled his groin in the process. He subsequently suffered severe frostbite from his imprudent and, according to his doctors, excessive application of an ice pack.

Later that day, as the players sat around drinking beer and sharing a laugh regarding Baldy’s misfortune, the conversation turned to the afternoon’s game and what was next. A top priority for the players, just below convincing young women to stand on the sidelines with pom-poms cheering for them, was the acquisition of snazzy uniforms for any future contests. This, in turn, brought them around to a discussion about the design of the jerseys, which, in still another turn, transported them to a touchy subject at the university: the school colors.

For 29 years, the university’s teachers had chosen different colors for each graduation ceremony. In 1879, Professor Maxwell Hoopy of the Philosophy Department had been granted this honor and had picked an ecru and chartreuse scheme which pleased no one and sickened hundreds. The following year, the privilege was passed to an English instructor, a Mrs. Augustus Smith, and she chose maroon and gold. The same colors were used in 1881, perhaps due to their popularity or perhaps just to avoid the Hoopy Fiasco of 1879. There was talk of declaring maroon and gold not just the permanent colors of the graduation ceremony, but also the official colors of the school itself.

[I had no idea this was going to be so long-winded. To be continued!]