Peeves IV

You’ve probably seen this play a few times, too. Suzy Howitzer is set and smacks the ball off the back wall. She and her coaches immediately start begging for the micro-touch, imploring both refs and both line judges to make the call and award the Big How the kill. When no one volunteers to bail Suzy out, the indignation kicks in. How could anyone have missed this?!

My advice for the aggrieved is to focus their frustration and wrath where it belongs: on the player launching the scud in the first place. You want a touch call? Don’t hit a shot that’s twenty feet out. Break some fingers if you have to. Otherwise, shut up, please. If it wasn’t obvious enough for all four officials to see it, you don’t deserve the point anyhow.

(Of course, if it was obvious and they still don’t see it, feel free to knock the first referee off his stand. Hell, use one of the line judges to do it.)