Peeves II

The players who continued to hang out at the local saloon discussed all of this, and maroon and gold was seriously considered. Nevertheless, two of Professor Hoopy’s sons -- Harold and Henry -- vehemently argued in favor of ecru and chartreuse. Using the skills their father had taught them, and the influence of vast amounts of alcohol on the rest of the team, they convinced the others that maroon and gold were much too common, and that the team deserved truly distinctive colors. When the “meeting” finally adjourned, Henry Hoopy quickly ordered the uniforms. For close to 50 years, the Ecru and Chartreuse, as the squad came to be called, wore the Hoopy colors more or less proudly, in spite of the ridicule heaped upon them by opposition players and fans alike.

In the meantime, the school adopted the gopher as its official mascot. This was not surprising; Minnesota had been known as the “Gopher State” since the late 1850s following two signature events. The first was a cartoon in a local paper which showed nine gophers, each with the head of a local politician, pulling a locomotive -- something to do with the expansion of a railroad through Western Minnesota. The second was what came to be known as the “Revenge of the Gopher Nine” when these same politicians, wearing home-made gopher suits, stormed the newspaper and seized the cartoonist. One witness later described the assailants as “horrifying, like large, ugly squirrels,” and also claimed the cartoonist was dragged out “screaming like my 2-year-old niece.” The story, understandably, made headlines throughout the country and the Gopher State soon entered the nation’s vernacular, synonymous with Minnesota. The cartoonist was never found.

In 1931, the Gopher football team failed to cross midfield for the entire season. The time had come, the players decided, for a change -- and they would start with the color of the uniforms. The maroon and gold school colors were the obvious choice, and to make the ensemble even more original, they decided on gold jerseys and pants, with only the players’ numbers in maroon. The sporting goods representative gave them three swatches of maroon fabric and five of gold from which to choose. After six hours of intense deliberation, they picked the Steamed Beets Maroon, but were still torn between Honey Bee Gold and Frisky Golden Spaniel. It was starting tackle Leroy “Cleatface” O’Reilly who lamented that it was too bad there wasn’t a "Frisky Golden Gopher", setting in motion events which would change the course of Minnesota athletic apparel history. The rep, who had had long since lost patience with the whole process -- and was having a very bad week, according to his journal -- responded that they could call it “Frisky Golden Wombat” for all he cared, it was just a “goddamned shade of yellow for cripesakes!” The team decided, as long as they had carte blanche, to drop the “Frisky” while they were at it.

From 1932 through 1941, Minnesota won seven Big Ten titles and five National Championships, only losing twelve games in the process. The “Golden Gopher”, as the team was now called, was the pride of the state. In 1943, Crayola introduced “Golden Gopher” as a standard color in their 48-pack of crayons. In 1944, the University of Minnesota sued Crayola for $3.6 million dollars, claiming use of the color was “not fair.” The case is still pending.

So, to summarize: It’s a color, dammit!